Rensselaer Union, Volume 7, Number 5, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 October 1874 — Free and Easy Visitors. [ARTICLE]

Free and Easy Visitors.

“ I always make myself at home every where!” sayS Mrs. A. “I don’t want people to put themselves out for me! I am free and easy wherever I am!” Mow these “free and easy” visitors are, of all other kinds of visitors, the most thoroughly disagreeable. They will inflict themselves upon you at any time and expect to be always cordially welcomed because they are so free and easy and so loth to put anybody to trouble. They will come before breakfast, or just as you are sitting down to dinner, and draw up their chairs quite like one of the family. Early in the morning they delight to “run in,” and they will come right up to your chamber to save you the trouble of coming down, and there they will sit and watch you make your toilet, and comment on how gray your hair is getting, and inquire the cost of the lace on your petticoat, and wonder if you are not a great deal stouter, and redder in the face than you used to be. Free and easy visitors will hunt over your writing-desk after paper to write notes, and they will read the postmarks on your letters, and ask you who on earth you know in Dingtown, or Cat Fally, and wonder how you can ever find time to write letters! They will bathe their foreheads in the contents of your cologne bottle and scent their handkerchiefs with your expensive extract of Pond Lily, and scatter your Night Blooming Cereus. at two dollars a bottle, profusely over their flounces and fringes, and declare it is delightful!They will brush their hair with your brush, and put their feet on your sofa, and open your various boxes, and inquire what kind of toilet powder you use, and tie knots in the fringes of your Paisley shawl, aud help themselves to your glass of lemonade. They will go to your pantry after a Tuncli—fliey came out so early they didn’t eat half a breakfast—aud iu all probability they will stay to dinner, and suggest that you have boiled salmon and pickled ovsters—they are so fond of them! They will exclaim over the way you manage your children, and tell you about the wonderful children of Uncle Isaac or Cousin Sally! Ah! if anybody could have cliildren like them it would be a dositive comfort to have twenty of them! Yes, indeed! Your “ free and easy” visitors drop in upon you very often at meal-time, and when invited to partake they invariably tell you they are not hungry, they wouldn’t eat a mouthful,—they had no idea it was so near dinner —and then they “ sit up,” and they eat as much as any healthy laborer could do who had been at work on the Hoosac Tunnel since its commencement! We can abide “ genteel’’ visitors, and “ stuck-up” visitors, and begging visitors, and visitors who make us glad twice, but from “free and easy” visitors good Lord deliver us ! —Kate Thorn, in N. Y. Weekly.