Rensselaer Union, Volume 7, Number 5, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 October 1874 — PHUNNYGRAMS. [ARTICLE]

PHUNNYGRAMS.

—Two young ladies holding converse over a new dress —“ And does it fit well?” asked one. “Fit! yes; as if I had been melted and poured in.” —A little boy couldn’t remember the text exactly, but thought it was something about a hawk between two pigeons. It was, “ Why halt ye between two opinions. l ’ - —* —“ There was an old family fuel between them,” was what a witness in a Chicago murder case said to the jury. The Judge asked her if she didn’t mean “feud,”and she asked him who was telling the story. — Independent. —A lady lately remarked to a wellknown professor whose services' she had just engaged: “ You wall be pleased with my daughter as a pupil, I feel sure; *she is exceedingly clever, and has such a nice heavy touch for sacred music.” —A Pennsylvania seven-year-old was reproved lately for playing outdoor with boys; she was too big for that now. But with all imaginable innocence she replied: “ Why, granma, t,he bigger jve grow the better we like ’em!” Grandma took time to think.

. —How comfortable for a young wife to feel that her husband is a bountiful and that she will never want for the necessaries of life! A newlymarried man was recently directed by his wife to older some yeast, and,not having a very well defined idea of the article, he told the baker to send up three dollars’ .worth. At nine o'clock next morning three men might have been seen tugging a cask of yeast up the front steps of that man’s house. There is a house at Hanover, N. 11., covered with pine shingles that were put on the day of the battle of Bunker Hill, nearly 10*6 years ago. —The silk factories of New Jersey employ 7,000 girl 3.