Rensselaer Union, Volume 7, Number 1, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 September 1874 — THE TELEGRAPHISTS’ REVENGE. [ARTICLE]

THE TELEGRAPHISTS’ REVENGE.

There were eight of us,' and we had had another long and hard day’s journey. At a little before midnight we arrived with our two wagons at a pretty little town near Le Mans. As we reached the outskirts of the place the courier we had sent ahead met us with the billets for our quarters. As he handed them to us his face assumed an expression that I knew only too well how to interpret. “ Our quarters are none of the best, eh?” I asked. “There have been some Bavarians here for a whole week,” was his laconic reply, which said quite enough. It was only when they found a very great abundance and their stay was very short that our blue-coated allies left anything behind them. Well, our billets, in our respective judgments, promised very little. I, for example, was sent to the house of a linen-weaver. Now, at the mere mention of the word linen-weaver a feeling of hunger and misery comes over me, qjrobably on account of my having in my boyhood so often sung the song of “ The Weaverof Silesia.” The others, being no better pleased with their billets than I was with mine, readily acceded to my proposition to go to an hotel and pass the night at our own expense. The mail had arrived only a day or two previously, and consequently we all had money; not much, ’tis true, but enough to pay our reckoning for a night at least. The house to which we were directed was called “ The Shark.” If the name was somewhat ominous, we consoled ourselves with the thought, or rather the recollection, that, in the olden time, on a certain occasion, a very distinguished person found himself very comfortable in a tish’s belly. The landlord, when our troop entered the house, made an awful wry face; when, however, he learned that we had not been quartered' upon him, but came as paying guests, his physiognomy assumed an entirely different expression. We Germans, despite the hatred of the French for us, had a good reputation among the landlords; and lam convinced that, if countrymen of the proprietor of The Shark had presented themselves, he would not have been so well pleased as he was with us. But his suave manner did not? please us. There was something too fox-like in his physiognomy. While the tongue of the ltttle man was giving utterance to polite phrases, his little, sharp, dark eyes seemed to say, “If I only had the gold in my pocket, you might all go to the devil, for all I.care!” Such-like landlords were not new to us, and consequently the contradictory expression of his words and his mien gave us no uneasiness. He could indulge in any grimaces he plegsed, provided his larder was well rilled and his wine was -good. —. ——- The man knew his business, that no one could deny. He ran over the list of his culinary delicacies with wonderful volubility, and praised his wines with an eloquence that even a Geneva Calvinist would have found it difficult to resist. As for the former, they tasted very like the remnants of a dinner warmed oyer; and as for the latter, it had certainly been liberally watered. But our stomachs had‘riot been cloyed with luxuries of late, and, especially" for the last three or four days, our fare had been so very plain that we found the supper The Shark landlord set before us very palatable. Although we had had a hard day, we were, nevertheless, in a convivial mood, and, after our host had persuaded us to take one bottle of champagne,"he did not lind it difficult to persuade us to take a second, a third, and a fourth. So we sat drinking and merry-making until three o’clock in the morning, when we suddenly broke up and hastened to our beds.-^ - At six. o’clock we were all assembled again around the table, busy with our coffee, when the Shark appeared, and, with one of bis friendliest grimaces, handed me our reckoning. Great Heavens! I thought I should sink to the earth ■tfhen I .glanced it the paper! Such imposition shad never before witnessed.. * “ Two • hundred \atjd thirty-three francs!” I cried; {C fhatis impossible! it cannot Ire!” \ ■“ SL «i, monsieuyr, it is quite correct,”

answered the Shark, blandly. “Mon 1 Dieu! Messieurs les Prusstens have made everything so dear with us in France —what can we do?” ;u' “ The rascal!” I thought) and told my comrades what the fellow demanded of us. They, very naturally, were not less incensed than 1 was; but what could we do? There was no time to enter into a discussion, for our wagons were already waiting at the door, so we emptied our purses, and, with “Muh und Noth," made up the sum the villain demanded, which he pocketed with a nonchalance that, clearly showed it was not the first time he had preyed upon the unwary. Wo went our way, all feeling* very savage, I particularly, for it was my fault, if anybody’s, that we had fallen into the jawsoftbe monster. ~ I had no expectation of ever se'eing the little town or The Shark landlord again; but Providence willed that it should be otherwise, and kindly gave me an opportunity to be fully avenged. Nine days later we were ordered to repair a short connecting-line near Le Mans. Again we took the road to the little town of dear remembrance, which we reached about nightfall, and Where we were to spend the night. We reported ourselves at the Commissary Bureau, where I had the good fortune to find a good-natured acquaintance in the office in charge. In the course of conversation I told him how I and my comrades had been robbed by The Shark proprietor a few days previously. “ I know the fellow',” said he. “There have already been a good many complaints about him; but 1 have determined to send him as many of my billets as I can with any show of justice; in that way one can, perhaps, get even wiih the rascal.” “All, an excellent idea!” I cried. “Send me and my comrades to him —that is, if you can.” “ Why not? Eight men—yes, certainly I can send you to him. The fellow is rich; the other houses are full, and he lias only three or four Bavarians. Yes, I’ll send you to him for to-night.” Fifteen minutes later our wagon drew up before the door of The Shark. On the way I had unfolded a little plan to my companions, with which they were delighted. When our worthy host saw us he was radiant with delight, and his satisfaction was apparently increased when we excused ourselves for troubling him again so_ soon, and begged that he would have our tired horses well attended to. “ Oh, you are very welcome, gentlemen,” he replied, rubbing his hands with a sort of Satanic glee. “ You do my little house greathonor! ” (“ Here I have the eight dunces again,- lie~ thought to himself.) We made ourselves as comfortable as possible, and, in our endeavors in this direction, we were ably seconded by our host. When he asked us how many rooms we wished, we modestly replied that we were by no means particular flow many we bad; whereupon he hastened to allot to our occupancy eight rooms in a row, up two flights, of stairs, which, he assured us, were as comfortable as auy rooms in his house, and I have no doubt that, in making the statement, he was not wide of the truth. Of ordering our supper we made equally light work, leaving the selection of the bill-of-fare entirely to him. Yes, we even went so far in evincing our confidence in his judgment and discretion as to allow him to select our wine for us. “ Perhaps I shall put a bottle of champagne on ice?” he suggested. “I hope Messieurs les Prussiens found my wine to their .taste the other evening!” “If you choose, you may put two on ice,” I replied. “Perhaps three, messieurs?” “ Four if you like.” “ Bon, let us say six.” “You are very kind, monsieur.” “My duty, my duty! I think I know what is due to such guests as you are, gentlejnen.” And so we continued to compliment each other until our jaws were busy with supper, which, thanks to the generosity of our host, was truly Lucullian in its character. Our host watched our glasses with Argus eyes, and hardly were they empty when the waiters, in obedience to his wink, filled them again; this we gave Mm an opportunity to do very frequently, especially when lie brought on the champagne, which, to do the Shark justice, I confess was very good, and, unlike his claret, had not been watered. We swallowed with heroic courage whatever was set before us —and it is astonishing what eight healthy, willing fellows can accomplish in this direction under proper encouragement, after a hard day’s march, especially if they have been on plain fare for a few days, We repeatedly drank the Shark’s health, an honor the significance of which he was destined not to learn until the next'morning. Finally, at a late hour, with heavy heads and limber knees, leaving a formidable battery of empty bottles behind us, we retired to sleep the sleep of —the avengers. The next morning, bright and early, late as it was when we went to our beds, we were all assembled round the table enjoying our case ail lait, and., in all the hotter humor in consequence of the success of our little plot. It was w r ith a sort of triumphant satisfaction that I watched our host, as we drank our coffee, making a copy of what seemed -to be an interminable list of entries in a big- accountbook before him. “ Now he is slaughtering us,” I whispered to my comrades, just -as one of our drivers, a stalwart Pomeranian, presented himself at the door, and cried out, “ The wagons are repOtr gentlemen!” Before our landlord coulQrecover from his astonishment we were « u t of his house and in our seats. But he wasclosiE upon us with his bill, w'hich could ii&r-e* been measured with a yard-stick. 1 glanced at the sum. It was, as we intended it should be, larger than the previous one. “ What is it /ou wish?” I asked, with all the naicete I could command. “ The amount of my little bill, messieurs, if you please,” repeated the Shark, in his blandest tone. “ Your bill! how? why, we went quartered with you.” “Eh!wh—what! qua—quartered with me?” he stammered, and at each syll» ble his under jaw fell lower and lower. *• Certainly! Is it possible that I forgot last evening to give y°' x our billet? Why, here it is now!” «ud I drew the document from my p&cket and handed it to him. “ I be« a thousand pardons, nion cher monsieur! Driver, go on!” * , And away we drove, laughing heartily. The Jihark,’ however, did not seem to relish the joke* As long as we were in sight he stood still, “ with murder in his mien,” looking now at us, and now at his “little bill.” We. however, for the thousandth time struck up our favorite song, “The Watch

on the Rhine,”.which rang out merrily on the morning air.' Does anybody dqubt that the landlord of The Shark looked after the Quurtierbillet a little more closely after this adventure? Probably’ not!— Ftom the German, for Appleton's Journal.