Rensselaer Union, Volume 6, Number 48, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 August 1874 — CURRENT ITEMS. [ARTICLE]

CURRENT ITEMS.

Home Rule—Birch. The softest water is caught when it rains hard. Tiie centennial of oxygen must have been a gassy affair. , PowDEHUD meerschaum is notv used by ladies as a cosmetic. Uncle Jir is a Detroit negro who lets the boys crack cocoanuts on liis head for fifty cents apiece. One of the religious papers affirms that practical Christianity is the great need of the times. An Ohio housewife suicided the other day because her kettle of soft son)) wouldn’t “ make.” Although doubtful tilings are uncertain, it cannot be.denied that certain tilings arc doubtful. A single company has a monopoly of flic ice business in Boston this year. That’s a nice business. A man with a scolding wife, on being asked what he did for a living, replied that lie kept a hot-house. A workman found in flic Allegheny River, the other day, a gold ring, inscribed “ Lafayette, 1834.” The King of the Sandwich Islands advises the negotiation of a reciprocity treaty with the United States. They keep selling the Smith sisters cow for taxes in Connecticut, and all New England is in an excitement about it. A, New York man lias christened hsi daughter Glycerine. He says it will be easy to prefix nitro if her temper resembles her mother’s. When the wife is detected showing unusual affection for her husband, it may fairly be expected that she will appear before lonj; in a new bonnet. A Hardin County (Ky.) farmer proposes to fatten about sixty hogs on onions alone, and Jar that purpose has planted a large crop of the esculent. The New York Commercial resents the charge that women dress to please .the men. Statistics show, that the chief end of woman’s dress is to impoverish mem It may be interesting to know that the autumn bftnnet will have a huge boxplaited ero W n lln( j a rim turning up directly in front, held in position by a huge bow. —’ . A colored Mrs.’Partington, of New Orleans, observed the other day that her husband held the “stinguishea position of stupidntmierary on the mctropelicau police.” Now is the time when the irresponsible urchin gluetli the house-fly’s wings together and walketh him against time around the nose of his sleeping grandfather. •• *. Noble Lords arc scarce at the water-ing-place hotels, and a cruel Western man accounts for it on the ground that it is not time for the barbers to take their summer vacation. 111-executed counterfeits of the latest ‘ issues of the fifty and ten cent currency are in circulation) ingenious enough to be taken by the unwary but not enduring a very close inspection. The following is a verbatim et literatim _c spy of a job brought into an office |n Northwestern Ohio by a minister: “The youse of tobacka is stricktly forbiton in this gurch ."—Newspaper Reporter. An English capitalist has just pur chased three square miles of land in Kansas for himself, and foursquare miles fortwoof-liis friends. They all intend to come out with their families next spring. A farmer in Wyoming County is thinking Of going to Colorado, and writes to a friend that he would “ like to find some widow like the one named Ruth, who for a second husband married a chap with the absurd cognomen of Boaz, and who is ready like her to say, ‘ Where thou go— West I will go.’ ”