Rensselaer Union, Volume 6, Number 43, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 16 July 1874 — Deception. [ARTICLE]

Deception.

Tot may remember that I lectured lately for the young men of the Clayoniah Society? During the afternoon of that day 1 was talking with one of the young gentlemen referred to, and lie said lie bad an uncle who, from some cause ,or other,;seemed to have grown permanently bereft of all emotion, and with tears in bjs eyes this young man Said: “ Oil, if I could only see him weep!” I was touched. I could never withstand distress. I said: “Bring him. to my lecture. I’ll start him for you.” “Oh, if' you could but do it our family would bless you forevermore, for lie is very dear to us. Oil, my benefactor, can you make him laugh? Can you bring soothing tears to those parelii-d orbs?” I was profoundly moved. 1 said: “My son, bring the old party around. I have got some good jokes in my lecture that will make liim laugh if there’s any laugh in him; and, if they miss fire, I have got some others that will make liim cry or kill him, one or the other.” Then tlic young man wept on my neck and presently spread both hands t>h my neck and looked up toward heaven, mumbling something reverently, and then went after liis uncle, lie placed him in full view, iu the second row of benches, that night, and I began on him. 1 tried him on mild jokes, then with severe ones; I dosed him with bad jokes, and ridiculed liim with good ones; 1 tired old, stale jokes into him, anil peppered him fore and aft with red-hot new ones. 1 warmed up to my work and assaulted him on the right and left, iu front and behind; I fumed and charged and ranted till I was hoarse and sick and Trap tie and furious; but I never moved him once—l never started a smile nor tear! Never a ghost of a smile, and never a suspicion of moisture! 1, was astonished. I closed the lecture at last w ith one despairing shriek —with one wild burst of humor—and hurled a joke of supernatural atrocity full at him! Then I sat down bewildered and exhausted. Tlie President of the society came up and batUed niv bead w ith cold water, and said-: “ What made yon carry on so toward the hist?” , 4 4 said.- “I was trying to make, that i confounded old idiot laugh, in the second row.” And he said: “Well, you \vcre wasting your time ; because lie is deaf and dumb, and'as blind as a badger.? Now, was that any way for that old man’s nephew to impose on a stranger, and an orphan like me'!—Mark Twain.