Rensselaer Union, Volume 6, Number 41, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 July 1874 — A Mustache. [ARTICLE]

A Mustache.

By all means raise one! .My young masculine friends, if ypu have heretofore neglected it, attend to it at once. “ Delays are dangerous.” *' Procrastination is the thief of time.” Nowadays, to succeed in life, it is necessary that a man should have a mustache! Witness Ihe following advertisement, copied verbatim from one of onr city dailies: •• Wanted.—A .voting gentleman to act as clere in a drv-2<>od« store. Must be experienoca fn tntwsinw, of Rood address and prepossessing ap pcarance. One with a mustache preferred." Brains, you see, are at a discount, but bair on the upper lip is at a premium. Everybody appreciates a mustache; but few people have wit enough to appreciate brains, even when they come into the

vicinity of them—which, by the way, is not often. A mustache makes itself evident at once, unless it be of a pale yellow Mind which requires the observer to use a microscope in order to detect it. Brainq are not supposed to be visible, and, indications of them are not always surface indications. Blonde mustaches are all the go with novelists; tawny they are sometimes designated, but pever red. Somehow, nowadays, everybody seems to avoid correctness in everything, and it would be dreadful to describe a hero with a red mustache. So, young man, if you desire to be in style, raise a tawny mustache. Let it grow long, so that' your mouth will be submerged—so that nobody will know for certain that you have got a mouth, it will teach lookers-on a lesson of faith in things unseen. Young ladies like mustaches. Of course they do. A hero with chin whiskers or mutton-chops would be nowhere. So, young gentlemen, to go back to first principles—by all means raise one! Oil it. Perfume it. Comb it. Brush it. Wax it. Curl it. Twist it. Twirl it. If necessary dye it, and on no account Stop stroking it, for if you do you will show the observing world that you are thinking of something else, and what fashionable young man ever forgets the existence of his mustache ?—Kate Thom's Homilies.