Rensselaer Union, Volume 6, Number 38, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 11 June 1874 — An Unfortunate Ghost. [ARTICLE]

An Unfortunate Ghost.

If is strange what risks some men will incur just for the skke of a little amusement. A case in point is that of Mr. BaDgs, who thought to have a little private fun at the expense of his wife the other evening. He has not fully recovered from the effects of that fun yet. He was aware that Mrs. B. never used a light when me went down cellar after dark, and he determined -to take advantage of her oversight to carry out his own plans. Accordingly he arranged himself in a sheet and a tall hat, went down cellar and took his position in the darkest corner. He had scarcely completed these arrangements when Mrs. B. appeared, carrying a broom, as Bangs soon afterward learned. She halted immediately in front of Bangs, and appeared to be regarding him with some interest, when Bangs, thinking this as favorable an opportunity as he would get, slowly raised himself on end and uttered what he considered a very unearthly groan. Mrs. B. didn’t faint, nor shriek, nor go into hysterics, as he had confidently expected. On the contrary she merely poised her broom for a moment in mid air, then let it descend on Bangs’ head with a force that nearly capsized him. At first Bangs thought that he had died ana been landed among the stars, from the immense number of them he saw shooting about through space; but a few more well-directed blows from Mrs. B.’s broom soon recalled him from the contemplation ofthls lofty theme to things of a more earthly nature. He immediately gave up all idea of making any further attempts to frighten the wife of his bosom, and set about demonstrating the utter impossibility of dodging a broom-stick in the hands of an earnest and excited woman. When the family next door got there Bangs was performing circles around the house at the rate of a mile a minnte, and endeavoring to allay the irritation in his head by friction with his hands. This was about the time that Bangs had expected to be splitting his sides with laughter, but he found it impossible to even smile now under the circumstances. Mrs. B. emerged from the cellar triumphantly wavirfg about half a foot of the bald end of a broom-handle, tmd weeping because there were no more Bangs to brooih. It took two. new dresses and twenty yards of ribbon to convince her that Bangs didn’t mean to frighten her; but he has failed so far to explain the presence of the sheet and tall hat to her entire satisfaction. Bangs has employed the services of his physician by the month to ptit the necessary repairs on his face and head. —John Oliver, in Banbury News. Thu is said to be a remedy for cab-bage-worms: Shorts and bran sprinkled over the cabbage. , —The total Grange membership in the I United States is estimated at 1,250,000.