Rensselaer Union, Volume 6, Number 31, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 23 April 1874 — Butter Nuts. [ARTICLE]

Butter Nuts.

BY JOSH BILLINGS. Bum men pay their dets hi driving them out ov their memory. True grateness konsists in allwuss appearing abuv our fortune, be the same hi or low. We seldum do the best we kan—not bekause we kant, but bekauze we wont. Pride seems to be pretty equally divided. i have seen just az mutch pride in a stage driver and dansing-master az i hav ever seen in a newly-elekted member to the legislator. Good luk makes a wize man karephUll, but a phool it makes kareless. The world judges ov us bi what they see, not bi what they know. It iz a good plan, then, to sko them a bold front. It would seem that the poorest friend and the wust enemy a man haz got iz himself. It iz the eazyest thing in natur to be honest yet most men make dredful hard work oV it. He who iz allwuss hunting for friends seldum finds enny. I kan most generally tell how other people ought to akt, but how to akt miself frequently’ bothers me. A thoroly vain man, after he haz exhausted all hiz virtews, will begin to brag to yu about hiz vices. People are apt to complain ov the pkools in the world; but the phools are vittles and drink to the wize man. He who iz reddy at enny time to leave the sosiety ov others for the sosiety ov himself iz possessed ov one grate element ov happiness. ——* -— : ——- -- The grate truths are fu and simple, and those Who talk mutch are the ones who say little. All flatterers live upon flattery, and the best way to git rid ov them iz not to flatl«r them in return, and they will soon learuyu. If u Want for kuriosity I don’t suppoze thare would he mutch enterprize or improvement in the world; but the kuriosity that prompts a man to stick hiz fingers into a trap to see whether it will Spring or not seems to me aint wuth the investment. * Noboddy really lavs to he cheated, but it duz seem as tko everyboddy waz anxious to see how near they could cum to it. I am afrade thare iz more fear than humility in most kinds ov repentanse. Wbe»ever ya kan extrakt hunny from wormwood then yn may expekt to git happiness out ov unlawful plezzures ; Every boddy notisses a flaw in a diamond, but a Haw in a pebble excites no interest Most people repent ov their sins bi thanking God that they are not so wicked az other pholks are. - He who iz vain ov hiz virtews (if he iz sure he haz got them) haz the best and only excuse thare iz for vanity. I suppoze if thare want a solitsiy human being on the face ov the earth, the sun would still rise in the east and set in the west, the volkanoes would ockashionally vomit fire, and Niagara would keep on roaring, but thare’slots ov pholks who don’t think so.—Y. Y. Weekly. —For weak eyes, put a piece' of alum about the size of a hazle-nut and a piece of lump sugar the same size into a quart of cold spring water, and stand near the Are to dissolve; then saturate a little lint with the mixture; bathe the eyes several times a day ; destroy the lint immediately after using, as it must not be pat into the lotion a second time. , California exempts editors from jury duty, thinking they have frials enough in their business.