Rensselaer Union, Volume 5, Number 36, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 May 1873 — Those New Boots. [ARTICLE]

Those New Boots.

It is a little singular hotv well a pair oi boots can be made to fit at the store. You nuty not be able to get your foot only part way clown the leg at the first trial, but that is because your stocking is sweaty, or you haven’t started right, and the shoemaker suggests that you start again, and stand up to it, and lie throws in a little powder from a pepper-box to aid you. And so you stand up, and pound down your foot, and partly trip yourself up, and your eyes stick out in an unpleasant manner, and every vein in your body appears to be on the point of bursting, and all the while Hint dealer stands around and eyes the operation as intently as if the whole affair was,perfectly new and hovel to him. When your foot lias finally struck bottom there is a faint impression oil your mind that you have stepped into an open stove, but he removes it by solemnly observing that he never saw a boot fit quite so good as that. You may suggest that your toe presses too hard against the front, or that some of the bones in the side of your foot are too much smashed, hut lie says this is always the way with a new boot, arid that the trouble will entirely disappear in a few days. Then you take the old pair tinder your arni and go home as animated as a relic of 1812, all the while feeling that the world will not look bright anil li tppy to you again until you have brained that shoemaker. You limp downtown the next day and smile all the while with your mouth while your eyes look as it you were walking over an oyslerhed harefoot. When no one is looking you kick against a post of some other obstruction, arid show a fondness for stopping and resting against something that will sustain your weight. When you get home at night you go tor those old hoots with an eagerness that cannot be described, and the remarks that you make upon learning that your wife has disposed of them to a widow woman in the suburbs, are calculated to immediately depopulate the earth of women and shoemakers generally.— Danbury News. —One of the jurors in tin: late Richison trial, after being excused from service because of liis opposition to capital punishment, was asked by a neighbor how he came to get oil. He answered, “Oil! I’m opposed to capital punishment.” “Are you indeed! Why, what would you do wit h a man who should- deliberately .waylav and jfchoot down one of his neighbors?’, “Ilang him, sir' I’ll never send him up to the capital to be pmjish ed?”—Yen in (0.) Gazette. _ —The musical critic of the Cihcinnati Enquirer says that “Miss Kellogg is, in every tissue, an Amerieiin girl. She is this in her delicate beauty; Iter lithe, yet perfect fortn; hes-- tiny, snow-white hand and Arab foot." Her, Arab foot lias often been remarked, but it never seemed to ns so thoroughly American as her lonic nose, Sardinian chin, or her bewitching French mannerisms.— N. Advertiser. ' : See, in another column, the advertisement headed “I will help any mail .’k.