Rensselaer Union, Volume 5, Number 28, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 April 1873 — The Poodle. [ARTICLE]

The Poodle.

BY JOSH BILLINGS.

The poodle iz a small dog, 'with sore eyes, and hid amungst a good deal of promiskuss hair. They are sumtimes white for color, and their hair iz (angled all over them, like the hed ov a yung darkey. They are kept az pets, and, like all offier pets, are az stubborn az a setting hen. A poodle iz a woman’s pet, and that “makes them kind ov sakred, for whatever a woman luvs she worships. I huv seen poodles that i almost wanted tew swop places with, but the owners ov them didn't akt to me az tho they wanted tow trade for enny thing. Thare iz but phew things on the face ov this earth more utterly worthless than a poodle, and yet i am glad thare iz poodles, for if thare wazn’t thare iz some people who wouldn’t hav enny objekt in living, and have nothing tew lnv. Thare iz nothing in this world made in vain, and poodles are good for fleqs. Fleas are also good for poodles, for they keep their minds employed scratching, and almost everybody else’s, too, about the house. I never knew a man tew keep a poodle. Man’s natur iz too koarse for poodles. A poodle would soon fade and and die if a man waz tew nuss him. I don’t except enny poodle, but if enny boddy duzgivme one he must make up hiz mind tetf be tied onto a long stick every Saturday, and be used for washing the windows on the outside. This kind ov nussing would probably make the poodle mad, and probably he would quit, but i kant help it. If i have got tew keep a poodle, he haz got tew help wash the windows every Saturday. lam solid on this pint.— Jv. Y. Weekly. —Dr. Carr, of California, gives it as his belief that every collar of gold that has been produced in that State has cost from a dollar to a dollar and a half. He assumes that 50,000 people are engaged in gold mining in the State. Estimating wages $2.50 per day, and the number of working days at 300, the wages ot the miners would amount to $37,500,000. But the gold product for 1872 was only $20,000,000. From this it follows that every dollar rained in 1872 cost one dollar and sev-en-eighths. Allowing for the interest on capital invested, the estimate of cost would be raised tt> two dollars for every dollar of gold produced. , —The boot and shoe manufacturers of San Francisco have made over 7,000 kangaroo hides into boots and shoes for the young men of that city. For dress boot! they are said tp excel "those made oi patent leather. . »