Rensselaer Union, Volume 5, Number 19, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 30 January 1873 — Kindling Wood. [ARTICLE]

Kindling Wood.

BY JOSH BILLINGS.

Young man, when you have tew sarch Webster’s Dickshionary tew find vvords big enuff tew convey yure meaning, yu kan make up yure, mind that yu don’t mean much. Genuine grief iz like penitence, not klameTous, but subdued; sorrow from the hous tops and penitence in a market place shows more smbishun than piety. About the best thing that experience kan do for us iz tew learn us how tew enjoy mizery. The reazon whi so phew people are happy in this world iz bekause they mistake their boddys for their souls. We are poor not from what we need, from what we want; necissitys are not only natral, but cheap. Tins world iz phull of heroes and heroines, and the reazon whi so many ov them liv unnotioed iz bekause they adorn every day life and not an ockashun. Vanity iz called a discreditabel pashun, but the good things that men do kan oftner be traced tew their vanity than tew their virtew. Man is a hilyeddikated animal. Don’t never phrovesy, yung man, for if vu phrovesy wrong noboddy will forgit it, and if yu phrovcs*y right noboddy will remember it. Toung-ticd wimmen are very skarse and very valuable. Excentricitys when they are natral are sum indikashunof a superior mind,; thoze who think different from others are apt tew ackt different Vain men should he treated az boys treat bladders, bio them up till they bust. It iz a grate art tew be superior tew others without,letting them kno it Thare iz not only phun but there izvir tew in a harty lass; animals kant lass and devils wont. Don’t never quarrel yfjth a loafer. Skurrility iz his -trade; yftnejver kan make him ashamed, but he iz sure tew make yu. I "have alwus noticed that he is the best talker Whose thoughtsagree with our own. - He who acquires wealth dishonestly iz tew corrupt tew enjoy it. . Adversity iz'the fire that tempers the iron ov man into steel. 1 never had a man cum tew me for advise yet but what i soon diskovered that he thought more oV hiz own opinyunthan he did ov mine EdukasHun that don’t learn a man how kew think iz like knowing the multiplika- - shun forwards but not backwards’. Thare are but dredful phew people who can tatk len mionitft to yu without lugging into the' conversation their bak or stummik Rkes.—JVew York Weekly.