Rensselaer Union, Volume 5, Number 18, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 23 January 1873 — A Successful Dodge. [ARTICLE]

A Successful Dodge.

We had a visit from a book-peddling female last week. She wished to dispose of a book. She was alone in this world, and had no one to -whom she could turn for sympathy or assistance, hence we should buy her book. She was unmarried, and had no manly heart in which she could pour her sufferings, therefore we ought to invest in her book. She had received a liberal education and could talk French like a native; we could not in consequence refuse to pay her two dollars for a book. She wanted to take lessons in music from a learned German professor; consequently we must not decline buying a book. We had listened attentively, and here broke in with, “What do you say? We’re deaf..” She started in a loud voice and went through her rigmarole. When she had finished we went and got a roll of paper and made it into a speaking trumpet, placed one end in our ear, and told her to proceed, She nearly burst a blood vessel in her frantic efforts to make herself heard. She commenced, “I am alone in the world.” “It doesn’t make the*slightest difference to us. We are not alone; in fact, we are a husband and father. Although this is leap year, bigamy is not allowed in tins State. We are not eligjj ble to proposals." “Oh! what a fool this man is,” she said in a low tone; then at the toop of her voice, “I don’t want to marry you. I want —to —sell 1 —a—book!” This last sentence was howled. “We don’t want acock,” we blandly remarked, “our wife does the cooking, and she wouldn’t allow as good looking a woman as you are to stay in the house five minutes. She’s very jealous.” She looked at us in despair. Giathering her robes about her, giving us a glance of contempt, and exclaiming, “I do believe if a three hundred pounder were let off alongside that blamed old deaf fool’s head he’d think somebody was knocking at the door,” she slnng herself out and slammed the door with a vehemence that awakened our office boy, who can. sleep sound enough for a whole family. When she was gone we indulged in a demoniac laugh. She isn’t likelv to try to sell us a book any more.— Figaro.