Rensselaer Union, Volume 5, Number 6, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 31 October 1872 — Horace Greeley. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Horace Greeley.

A STORY FOR CHILDREN. [From the Seneca Falls Omler.]

This is a picture, of Horace Greeley. See how sad he looks. He is a very great man, He war once a poor editor An editor, is a man who lives oh whatother men owe him, until he starves to death. Mr. Greeley did not starve because he ate so muth Graham bread. Do you love Graham bread? Sometimes. Mr. Greeley would write pieces for the New York Trilnine. He belonged to the New York Tribune , or the New York Tribune belonged to him, and I have forgotten which. The Tribune had a great many subscribers. A subscriber is a person who takes a paper and says lie is very much pleased with it, and he tells, every - bddy else that'he ought to “subscribe.’’ After he had “subscribed” about seven years, tho editor writes to him and asks him t» let him have $2.50 (two dollars and fifty cents), and then the subscriber writes back to the editor and tells him

not to send him his old paper any more, for there is nothing in it, and then the poor editor goes and starves some more. Now I will tell you about Mr. Greeley. He used to wrap up strawberry plants and beets and tilings in his paper, and send them to his subscribers. His paper was “not an organ,’’ so you sec it would hold a great many strawberry plants. Mr. Greeley had heard that any poor boy might be President of the United States, and have plenty of money, and buy Alaska diamonds and St. Domiugoes and things, so he used to set and think how he might become President. Then he would scratch his head. He did not have any hair on his head, like you and I, so he soon made his head very sore, and people used to call him the Great Sore-Head, and then Mr. Greeley would say, “You lie, you villain, you lie!" There was a great many men who itched all over in spots to be President, or Governor, or constable, or something else beside what God intended them to be. These men wefe all very sorry when they saw Mr. Greeley’s head, and they said let us make him President, and maybe his poor head will get well. So they all got together, •'without regard to country, creed or color, politics or religion,” and they called thenißelves “Democratic Republicans,” which is a Greek word, and means, “anything to get at the Treasury." The Treasury is a large building in Washington, where all the gold of the United States is kept until there is a corner in Wall street. You don't know what a corner is, my children, and I will not make you unhftppv by telling you. 'Well, as I was saying, all the people got together in a place called Cincinnati, where they pack a great deal of pork, and they all agreed that Mr. Greeley was a good man because lie did not have any religion, and that he was a great man be cause he did not have auy politics, and would make a good President, as he would not have any of those things to bother him. So they told him to dress himself up nice. and black his boots, and go and “ swing aroundlhe circle." You love to swing, do you not, children? Mr. Greeley was like a child in a great many things. He loved to play about the garden amongst the rhubarb, nnd cabbage, and guano, etc., and catch Democrats ill his largo white hat. A Democrat is a fowl that eats crow until it is gorged, and is then easily ctuip ut by Mr. Greeley. But, alas, it made Mi Greeley very sick to swing, and made all those wicked men" sick that told him to go and “ swing,” and they all wept and said, “Don’t you remember how sick, it make -old Mr. Johnson to ‘ swing around the Sircie?”’ But Mr. Greeley said, “You are always saddest when I .swing,” ahcT went oh~ swinging, and his head got sorer all-the time, and Tie got raving crazy, and his friends did not know whether he was Horace Greeley or Daniel Prattl or George Faahcis Train 1! My children, the moral of this sad story is, if any good little boy wants to be President or these United Slatas. he must never “swing around the circle. 1 ’ l A Straykd Out