Rensselaer Union, Volume 5, Number 1, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 September 1872 — CURRENT ITEMS. [ARTICLE]

CURRENT ITEMS.

PmvEK.oP Evil —A power of attorney. A Center Ornament— Your nose. Thf. man who was filled with emotion hadn’t room for his dinner. ' Half mourning is termed in Pennsylvania “Pittsburgh sunshine.” It Is low enough to live in an attic, but a ground floor is a basement. Why is a drunkard like a bad account? Because ne generally overbalances. The Washington' is purely mutual,' and divides its profits among its policyholders only. . The revised statutes of Colorado are being printed in Spanish. A Memphis paper defines advertising to be “ a blister which draws customers.” The Louisville Exposition offered a premium for a hen that can lay brick. A dumb man recently went to lawwith a deaf man. The latter, of course, was the i/Tri/endant. An unusual amount of California fruit has been shipped for the Eastern markets this season. “ Man is a mystery,” said' a young lady to her beau. " Yes, dear," said he, “and a 1 girl is a misery.” It is said that more liquor is imported at Montreal, Canada, than at any other city on the continent. Backward, turn backward,' oh time ! in your flight. Agassiz has discovered that oysters used to he a foot in diameter. One hundred and fifteen pounds of butter in four weeks from three cowaii the latest Georgia achievement. A shark has been captured at Charleston, 8. C., weighing 700 pounds, and measuring eight feet in length. They are still groMing - abbuF”tEe weather at the centers of observation. They invariably speak of the mean tern jierature. Two twin boys in Warren County, Ind., aged seventy-two years are tenderly care for by a mother of ninety-six.

An insane Pennsvlvania editor imagines himself a mule. The insanity consists in assuming that he is half horse.— Boston Post. A couple publish a card at South Bend,. Ind., thanking a cornet band “for so kindly discontinuing practice during our late illness.” Mr, Manning, of Cincinnati, was “pickpocketed” of $0,000,005, the savings of a lifetime. It is said that the loss almost unmanned Mr. Manning. A Vermonter,, who sent for one of the $3.50 sewing machines advertised in the papers, received a shoemaker’s awl, wortli about ten cents. Ware, Mass., has a young lady of twenty years who stands six feetamd two incites in her bare feet, and another of twenty-four who weighs 4GO pounds. Mr. HoLLiNoswoßTn, the new Superintendent of Mt. Vernon, has reduced the expenses of the place from $12,000 to $6,000, thus making it self-sustaining. The chief signal officer at Washingtonin engaged in perfecting an apparatus by which the appearance and forms of the clouds at sunset may be recorded. There was a heavy frost in some parts of Penobscot County, Maine, recently. In the town of Plymouth the corn was killed, and the farmers cut it for fodder. A little girl was tenderly nursing her sick doll the other day, and on her mothers asking what ailed it she replied, “It’s , got the Alabama claims very bad.” A bachelor of seventy, at Loretto, Ky., has never been fifteen miles from the spot where he was born, and has never been sick.