Rensselaer Union, Volume 3, Number 42, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 13 July 1871 — CURRENT ITEMS. [ARTICLE]

CURRENT ITEMS.

A Texan widow lias remarried at the age of fifteen. Tint United States has 308 collegiate institutions. Mamy a good man leaves an inheritance in the Mutual Life, of Chicago. It has been decided by high judicial authority that a woman cannot be a Justice of the Peace in Massachusetts. In the height of prosperity expect adversity, and fortify yourself against its evils by a policy on your life in the Washington. An exchange wants to know, if $.150 is good pay for a fair day’s work, how much should be considered an equivalent for a wet day's work. A farmer in Van Burcn County, lowa, saved a pen of hogs which had been eating Paris green by administering sweet milk as an antidote. Clavbraok, N. Y., has a large field of rye which will average over eight feet in height. The heads alone are seven and a quarter inches long. Some time since a little boy six years old was drowned in a cistern in Detroit, llis father sued the owners of the premises for damages, and, after a three days’ trial, he recovered SSOO. Small-fox is reported to be unusually prevalent in the central counties of New York. A large number of cases were caused by a man, malignantly afflicted with the disease, riding in a railroad air. Mr. Georoe William Curtis lias a high opinion of the mother whose children he saw .playing in the New York Central Park, and upo’n each of which was a large and legible placard, upon which .was written: “ This child has the whooping cough. ’’ “ Yow’d better look out for your boss’ feet above here, Mister, ” said a ragged boy to a Beading traveler. “ Why ?’’ said the gentleman, nervously pulling up. "Cos there’s a fork in the road there, ” was the candid reply. An eccentric man r who recently furnished an elegant residence in New York, bought a handsome camphor-wood coffin, and placed it on a pedestal in his study, as a reminder to him in the midst of his wealth, that he was but mortal.

New Haven had what is well called a peculiar gathering one night recently, the same being a widows’ party, there being assembled a dozen resident widows to welcome back two likewise bereaved, frcni Philadelphia, companions of their youth. A child was bom at Manchester, Vt., a few days ago, which weighed only twenty-four ounces, but was perfectly formed, and hopes were entertained of its living. Its face could almost be covered by an old-fashioned cent, and a lady’s finger-ring could be slipped on the arm. A Boston lady saw a greengrocer pounding his mule, and her temder heart impelled her to open the window and say unto him—the man“ Cruel, cruel man, have you no mercyf” A flush of shame overspread his countenance as he remarked, “ No, marm, nothing but greens." Johnson, of Cleveland, owed Ludwig sllO for groceries, and Mellen, agent, undertook to collect it. This he did by getting into Johneon’s buggy while the latter went into a saloon to get a drink, and, driving the rig to a justice, where he got out an attachment on it. Johnson paid.

A Buenos Avrks man died, a 3 was supposed, of yellow lever and was coffined. His consciousness suddenly revived, and he knocked off the lid, rushed into a drinking saloon, and called for a glass of brandy. He drank it, and said to the liartender, “Ican’t pay you, I have no money; I have just broke out of my coffin.” A summer resort near Washington, on the Potomac, lias been deserted. They had a dear little kitten in the kitchen. It was missing one day. There was a large kneading trough full of dough _in the kitchen aforesaid. The kitten fell into the dough and went to the bottom like a ship in a quicksand. The baker didn’t find it out, neither did the boarders, until the kitten dumpling was opened, and then the boarders began to sing. A man from Boston, who closely resembles Gen. Grant, has been in Newport, R. 1., for a few days, and in several instances succeeded in passing himself off for the President, He obtained a fine boquet by this means, and then drove about town, bowing graciously to persons whom he met- Citizens who personally knew Grant were deceived by the man, and returned the salute without its occurring to them that he was an imposter. At last accounts he was Confined in the station-house.

A New Haven paper says: ‘‘As one of our most popular conductors was running his train through a severe rain storm, iu passing from car to car his hands became quite wet, so that in making change for a lady the money stuck together and delayed the process; for which he apologized by saying,‘The bills stick to my finders they are so wet.’ The lady was partly asleep, but her reply awoke the conductor. ‘Yes,’ she said in a drawling tone, ‘ I have heard that money does stick to conductors’ fingers —when they are wet —but it always slips out of mine as fast as I can get it, wet or dry.’ ” A young lady in meditation fancy free Writes as follows concerning the omnipresent lovers who frequent Niagara: “ I feel like a wretched marplot. I’m constantly running across them in unexpected places, interrupting some tender passage, or hearing bits of love-making that are not intended for me to hear, and I’m heartily tired with attempting to look unconscious, and pretending that I have neither eyes nor cars. I actually can’t go anywhere with a feeling of safety. Balconies and reception rooms are forbidden ground, and the parlor, which I used to haunt, has been taken possession of by the musical couple, so that ark of refuge is closed to mo. Good night; I’m going to bed in sheer solf-dcfense ”