Rensselaer Union, Volume 3, Number 37, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 June 1871 — Newspaper Qualifications. [ARTICLE]

Newspaper Qualifications.

BY M. QUAD. “ There are seven qualifications which a man must have to be a good newspaper man,” says DeQuincy, although what DeQuincy knew about the newspaper business, or what would be necessary a hundred years after his death, is a matter of. uncertainty. He states that the leading qualification is the genius of making the most out of the 'least bit of information, and there’s a great many journalists who would be on the old gentleman’s editorial staff, if he was alive and selected for their characteristic in that respect. There’s that reporter in Cincinnati. The other day he got hold of a bit of news and he said: “Narrow Escape—Last evening—it was a very nice evening, the thermometer ranging beautifully—last evening, as Dr. J. Walker —his middle name is John, but people are in the habit of calling him as we have written it—as Doctor J. Walker was proceeding down Plum street —Plum street is one of the finest streets in the city, having a beautiful elevation of one hundred and sixty-three feet and eleven inches above the river’ssurface, and noted for its fine business blocks—flown Plum street, a span of horses—since the war our people have got to using mules to a great extent, many asserting that the mule will do more hard work on a peck of corn than the horse can on two bushels of oats —a span of horses attached to a lumber wagon—time was when a good wagon could be purchased in Cincinnati for fortyfive dollars; but, alas! those good days have passed away, and a wagon with a blue hind-board and a red axle-tree is now worth seventy dollars —to a lumber wagon came dashing across his path, and but for the fact—speaking of facts reminds ns that the firm of Wart & Company have . ust got on their new spring hats—the fact that the doctor stopped a moment to chat with a friend—ah! what a power is there in that word! A man may be in Australia, or even in New Jersey, and his eyes will fill with tears the moment he hears the word —a friend, he would have been crushed to the pulp of raspberry jam!’’ And there is a chap in Buffalo who can “hold on” to an item like a Wisconsin farmer to his hop crop. I never see one of his articles without feeling a desire to see how it ended, and when the conclusion will be published. Here is his usual style of drowning folks: “Melancholy Case. —About 11 o’clock yesterday—of course some of the clocks may not have indicated that it was just 11, and others may have done so—the policeman at the foot of Main street—since the new pavement was put down at that mint property has increased 10 per cent, n value—heard a splash—it may seem singular to our readers that a policeman heard it, but the fact is beyond dispute, the officer’s‘grandfather being at the battle of Bunker Hill—a splash in the creek — why the broad and handsome river which flows into the lake at this point should be called a creek is more than we Can tell, although we have often sought information on this point—the creek, and turning round, he saw the struggling form of a man—ah! the word‘man’ signifies far more than some people believe, especially when falling like the notes of mildeStincL ody from the cherry lips of single female* aged from thirty-five anywhere up to sixty —of a man struggling in the water. With an energy such as is only born in heroes—•’ speaking of heroes reminds us that Fluke, the popular druggist, has just opened a one thousand five hundred dollar soda fountafti—of heroes, the officer seized a pole—it is said that Captain Hall will soon start on his exploring expedition in search of the North pole; we wish him success, the more from the fact that his mother-in-law is very ill, and will never live to see him come back —a pole, and extending the end to the man, soon had him —perhaps the reader has seen the expression ‘ had him there’ before, but we do not intentionally use it in its broadest sense—him on the dock. The man would have left—we are not going to say would have left town—a wife and three children to mourn for him—ah! who does not occasionally pause in his work to drop h tear for some drowned person—in case he had fallen a victim to the limpid waves.” The other great qualification which DeQuincy suggests is “ never to make truth, unpleasant. I believe in this. Out In Omaha, when I was on the Afternoon Standard, after Jim. Mitchell had been drunk for fourteen consecutive days, I penned the following: “ The steamer Wave left here for Leavenworth last evening, having Jim Mitchell and tiro-hundred and twenty-eight other whisky barrels as cargo.” _ “Young man,” said the editor, after reading the item, “to look at you, one would judge that you would live a thousand years; but if this item goes in you won’t live six minutes.” And he turned the sheet over and wrote: ' . „ , “J. Godfrey Mitchell, our popular candidate for the Legislature, left last evening for a short.stay at Leavenworth. Our people will miss his jovial countenance, and the void cannot be filled except by his return.” . And, instead of shooting any one full of rusty nails because a little truth has been told, Jim walked up into the sanctum one day, and wound up a pleasant chat by presenting the editor with a wolf dog weighing one hundred and eighty pounds. , —Detroit Free Pres».

—Burlington, Vt, can boast of the largest planing mill in the world. The lumber yards, docks, sheds, mills, eta, of the firm cover an area of nearly fifty «res, amkin this are* there are about seven mtiea boys are employed. -Several bakers of New York dty have reduced the eight-cent loaves of bread to six cents, without a corresponding reduction in weight.