Rensselaer Union, Volume 3, Number 26, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 23 March 1871 — CUR KENT ITEMS. [ARTICLE]

CUR KENT ITEMS.

Caws and Effect Crows and scare•rows. As Ecursß of tiie Son—Cut off without a penny. Tiie Height of Adversity—Pledging your word. “The Wipe’s Secret'—Her opinion of her husband. A Secret Warranted to Keep in any Climate—A woman's age. Dividends are applied iu the Wastngton Life to make the policies larger. To drain your land, driijk whisky rind spend all your time in the saloons. The New York Star advises people to die now, as the undertakers are, advertising “ a whole funeral for $25.” » A (’in* innati tirrrv has been fined SIOO tor issuing advertising cirds in the lik* nesses of National Rank notes. Death is the great persuader, and works mor*- than all the other agents of the Mutual Life of Chicago. A will case in Sumner County, Teun., involving $51,000, was in litigation sixtysix years, and whs only decided a few days ago. The great hell on Notrc Dame, Montreal, is the largest but one in the woild. It weighs over 10,500 pounds, and can be heard forty miles. It is estimated timt there are 8,000,000 cows in the country, the dairy product of which annually is 8.000,0 *O,O 0 pounds of cheese, and 515,000,030 pounds of butter.

A poetical genius, inspired by a festal gathering of Cincinnati beauties, docs not hesitate to speak of their lips as "the glowing gateways of pork ami potatoes." “ But these hacks ure dangerous. We might get the small-pox." “ You've no cause to he afraid of my coach, mum, lor I've ‘ad the.'i.:d wheel vaccinated, and it j took beautiful," A gentleman took a lady out to ride the other evening, and came home with a false curl attach'd to the button on 111*: side of his cap. He wonders how it could have got there. At a recent firemen's celebration in New Bedford, the following toast was [proposed: “The Firemen—The army I that draws water instead of blood—thanks I instead of tears." A Swiss journal, published at Geneva, says only six women —three. English, two German and one American—have climbed to the summit ol .Mont Blanc since Jacques Balmat first made the ascent in 1780, “Neck-tie sociables” are fashionable in Wyoming Territory. The people hold one whenever they catch a horse-thief. The tie is made of hemp, and the man i who gets it generally find it durable -enough to lastJiim-fbr the--remainder of

The McOonnellsville (Ohio) Herald tells of a woman who washed her children’s heads with modern whisky to kill nits. Her boys are well now, but their heads are as smooth as billiard balls. A colored man has been found in Samana who had reached the age of 120 years. He was originally a native African; has lived in Java, Madeira, Sicily. Malta, the Bermudas, and Havana, aud is still in full possession of his senses. There is an ice factory in New Orleans which turns out sixteen tons of ice per day, running six machines which cost $25,000 each in gold. The w ater is pumped up from the Mississippi, purified; aud frozen into blocks about two feet long, a foot wide, and three inches thick. These works were established ia iB6O. - Descriihuc a recent ball at Columbia, S. C., au unlucky reporter attempted to say that -Mrs. Theodore Hammond was “ exceedingly lovely in long train and short sleeves;” but the demoniacal printers made him mention “ Mr. Theodore Hammond exceedingly lovely on a fast train in his shirt sleeves.”

Mr. Henry Atkins, of Cincinnati, has invented a piano that is played by the feet."lt has sixty eight hove,-which are cubical blocks of wood, and each one strikes a chord of four notes. He puts on slippers to play with, and while he makes his piano go with his feet, he plays the flute with his mouth and fingers. The effect is described as remarkable. Mamma— “ What. is baby crying for, Maggie?” Maggie—“l don’t know.” Mamma—“And what are you looking so indignant about ?” Maggie—“ That nasty, greedy dog’s been and took and eaten my T>unge-tuke 1” Mamma—“Why, I saw you eating a sponge cake a minute ago!” Maggie—“ 0, that was baby’s 1” Daniel McCartney, an illiterate citizen of Salem, 0., can instantly/tell; on mentioning any date of the last forty-five years, what day of the iveek it was, the state of the weather, what he was doing, and what he talked about upon that day. Prof. Henkle, of St. Louis, lias, with the aid of a diary covering that period, thoroughly tested this, and finds him alway| correct. The tinplate annually used iu the United States amounts in value to about $12,000,000, of which it is estimated that one-fourth has been entirely wasted. Many efforts have been made to utilize the scraps, or tinner’s waste, as it is called, but without mucli success, owing to the fact that neither of the two metals (iron and tin) contained in them, could be reclaimed in a pure state. From the Boston Post wc learn thnt “ Mr. Greeley advocates sowing asparagus in March, or grafting the cuttings on good hardy quince or pear stocks. The fruit is excellent, cut up with sugar and cream, like peaches. Some people ruin asparagus trees by pruning too much. They should only remove dead limbs, and thin out sufficiently to ad mit the air aud sun.” The North East (Erie County, Pp.) Star t :11s this: “Miss Clem Galusha.au estimable young lady residing near Sterrettania, recently lost her power of speech, and during the space of three weeks was unable to utter a solitary word. A few days since, while washing dishes, she all at once commenced to talk, to her great surprise and astonishment. No one knows the cause of hej having been thus'affected.” The Dubuque Times says“ Last Friday mornipg, as the passenger train coming west was passing over abridge across a creek about two miles east of Ackley, the bridge commenced shaking as though about to give way. The engineer crowded on steam, and just as the last coach had cleared the bridge it fell into the stream below, which wa6 much swollen by the storm of the previous night. The passengers knew nothing of the great danger they had so narrowly escaped until informed of it on their arrival at Fort Dodge.”

As a gentleman was walking the streets of Washington one night, he was accosted by three ruffians, who pretended to be drunk, and asked him the time of night. “ I will tell you,” said he, in his blandest tones. Placing his hand in one of his pockets as if to draw out his time-piece, and drawing forth a revolver instead, he presented the latter and very colly remarked, “It’sgoing to strike three. r< The ruffians vanished out of sight in an instant. A romantic incident, showing the power of an earnest love to overcome the niost formidable difficulties, is reported in the Colorado papers. A Chicago youth fell in lov'e with a Colorado maid, whose father was so opposed to the proceedings that be drove the young man from the house with wrath and a revolver. Upon this the earnest youth had the stem parent arrested for threatening his life; and

when the old gentleman was safely Incited up, by the judicious use of a ten dollar bill, he induced the same justice of the peace who had imprisoned the father to marry him to the daughter. This done, Hie old man was brought up for trial, when he concluded to swap forgiveness with his enterprising son in-law, who thereupon magnanimously withdrew his complain'. Rook. — Hindu In his porki-tn, WhlsillDK a tune; Poor little Tommy, Merry as Juno. Poverty dower* him, What docs he care* Happy In sunshine, Happy In air, Healthful and buoyant, lie *tou» not know That he Inherits fcnrrow and woe. Sharing the little. Giber* can ; he, lie Is content d To he and livo. Out of tils childhood, • Meaner and hare, ’ He will bo going To do and dare. Ever atmvo him Angels may bend, And God be father, Broiher, and friend. -/tlre. Entity J. JJnyb-f. Smith had failed in business and sold out, and having two or three tough little bills, had given them to a lawyer for collection. Smith went to the office to receive the proceeds. The amount collect. d was about SSO. “I am sorry you’ve been so unfortunate, Smith, for I take a great int* rest in yon. 1 shan't charge you as much ns I should if I didn’t ieel so much interest in you.” li re he handed Smith sls, and kept the balance. “ You see, S nitli, I knew you when you were a boy, and I knew your father before you, and I take a good deal of interest in you Good morning, (tome and see me again!" Smith, moving slowly out of tlie door, and ruefully contemplating the avails, was heard to mutter: “Thank Heaved, you didn’t know my grandfather!” A Little Hero.—A gentleman, while passing through a street in New York, heard a chi d’s voice in a basement crying “Help! help!” He ran in, and found a little five-year- old boy holding a bed blanket around liis sister, two years younger, who had caught her clothes on fire, and the little luro had succeeded in putting out the flames. The boy, in answer to the question why he wrapped the bed -blanket around his sister’s (mining clothes, said ina had told him that was the best way to put out fire, and why he cried “Help! help!” that lie was afraid he could not do it, aud wanted some one to help. He was then asked why he did not leave his sister, and run into the street, and cry for help. He answered with tears in his eyes, “No, I never would have left her. She is my sister. Had she been burned up, I would have burned too.”