Rensselaer Union, Volume 3, Number 25, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 16 March 1871 — Odds and Ends. [ARTICLE]

Odds and Ends.

BY JOSH BILLINGS.

As a gineral thing, an individual who is neat‘in his person Is neat in his morMan is my brother, and I know that I am nearer related to him through his vices than I am thru his virtews. Thare is nothing about which the world makes so few blunders, and the individual so menny, as a man’s acktual importanse among his fellow critters. A man with a very small head is like a pin without enny, very apt to get into things beyond his depth. I don’t pretend tew" hav enny less vile pashuns than my nabore, but 1 do despize the person, most heartily, who caters tew those I have got. Thare is no pashun ov the human hart that promises so much and pays so little aa revenge. Thare is this odds between a humorous lekter and a sclcntlflck one, yu hav got to understand the humors lektur to enjoy it, but yu kan enjoy the scientiflck one without understanding it. No man yet who had strength ov mind enuff ever resorted tew cunning. Cunning is half brother to fear, and they an both ov them weakness. A man who is good company for himself is alwuz good company tor others. Genuine praize consists In naming a man’s fault?, to his face, and his good qualItys tew his back. One ov the best temporary cures for pride And afiectashun that 1 hav ever seen tried is sea sickness; a man who wants tew vomit never puts on airs. Witty speeches are like throwing stones at a target, the more time spent in taking aim, the less danger thare is in bitting the mark. I hav alwuz noticed one thing, when a person bekums disgusted with this world, and konkludes tew withdraw from it, the world very kindly lets the person went. 1

Gravity is no more evidence of wisdom than a paper collar is ov a shirt. Whatever Providence has given ns the faculty tew do, he has given ns the power tew do. ■'!" * * •“ Seventy years ago, a Democratic poll* tioian named CanmrQ».la one pf the Scotch settlementsih vertaofitj greatly disappointed that hia. children were all girls, declared 6n • one' occasion that his next baby, whatever might be its sex, should be named Thomas Jefferson. It proved to be a girl, and he was ss good as his word, the child was familiarly called Jeffisina “for short.” She married''the late Colonel Jacob Blanchard, Of Peach am, Verinont., On her tombstone in that town are inscribed the initials “T. J.," in place of her full Christian name. I A cow in Bucks County, Pa., about 1 twelve years ago, swallowed a leather nail-pouch. Recently she was slaughtered, land, the stomach being opened, the pouch, t is stated, was found uninjured, and in it bout* down Mil*