Rensselaer Union, Volume 3, Number 23, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 March 1871 — CURRENT ITEMS. [ARTICLE]

CURRENT ITEMS.

Occam Timbkb—The sen board. A Rack Abticlk Beefsteak Just ( Cat it AT Punishment Sleighing Never trouble trouble till trouble trou-, ble* you. The moat pompous soldier ever known —General Importance. The most important room in a dentist’s house— the drawing-room. Pmi.ADBLPiiiA contains more houses than New York, Brooklyn, and Jersey CUv combined. The Washington is as good a company as there is in existence for the policyholder. P. H. McUhaw, St nator. •' A very benevolent lady has taken the idea into her head of knitting a pair of, hose for a fire engine. Ik you should die to day, would you leave your family independent of charity * j Insure in the Mutual Life, of Chicago. ’ i The Chicago Time*. ehroniclinghhc fact that a man there was married to get out : of jail, remarks that “ some chaps have u queer idea of liberty." Within the memory of the oldest river man, there has never tailed to navigate the ; Mississippi, boats known as the l nited States and Ben Franklin. A Boston man asks the city tocompcn- ( sate him for his son’s death, which, he I claims, was caused by the cruel treatment oi a teacher iu one of the public schools. A Western gentle man lately put him self to bed on the steps of a church, and, I trying to fold the snowtlakcs around him, declared every time he grasjied a handful that the plaguy sheets always tore so. When Mrs. Jones chided her daughter for allowing young men to throw kisses »' her, Mary Ann declared that she was well aware of the impropriety, and never had a kiss thrown at her that she did not throw back. ’ A Boston hotel-keeper, v, ho sued a man for leaving ‘without paying for his board, has lost his case. The defendant told him when he put up at the hotel that lie had , no money, and the plaintiff admitted the fact. “It’s a dcsp’r’t thing," said old Joe Smykers—“a desp'r’t thing: J’hat are j young couple, who’vc been billin’ and cooiw and makiu’ eyes at one another for J a month, have now gone to the minister i and got a permit to see if they esn't keep j it up for a lifetime l" It is said that 44 men, 18 women and j 28 children were killed outright, and 107 i men, 72 women and 20 children wounded ' by the bombardment of Paris. When the armistioe came the deaths, from sickness averaged 000 daily. The last sortie cost the French 0,000 men. A w ill tiled in the San Francisco Pro- ' bate Court reads: “San Francisco, Jan. 20, 1871, —All and any property standings in my name, real and personal, I leave to my wife, Mary Anderson, and likewise my two daughters, Mary and Jennie.—John Anderson.” The two daughters anxiously inquire whether they are a part of the legacy or sharers in it Mr. Golden, an old bachelor editor, thus, in his spite, comments on a recent moonlight incident“ We leit our sanctum at midnight last night, and on our way home we saw a young lady and gentleman holding a gate on its hinges. They were evidently indignant at being out so late, and we saw them bite each other several times.” A boy at Mount Pleasant, lowa, was sitting up with a sick mother, when she asked him to give her the medicine the doctor prescribed, lie was busy reading & novel, so he gave her a dose out of the first bottle he came to. to save time, as he was interested in finding out how the hero got along. The mother was borne to the silent tomb the next day, but the boy finished the novel the night before. The editor of the Noblcsville, Ind., Register recently received the following notice; “Sir, you will please publish the death of my lather in your paper He died at his residence in on the morning of the alter an illness of enty three davs Ife died of congestion of the lungs. Please say to his patrons and friends that his widow and sons will manufature and sell his ague cure the same as he did and oblige your friend.” A veteran Yankee sailor, who was with Farragut in his terrible battle below New Orleans, having his leg shot off below the knee, observed to an officer, “ That’s but an eight-dollar touch; an inch ■higher and I should have had my sl2 for italluding to the scale of pensions allowed for wounds. The same man, *hs they were lifting him on a brother tar’s shoulders, said to one of his friends: “ Bob, take a look for my leg, and give me the silver buckle out pf my shoe; 111 do ag much for you, please God, some other time.” , At a certain college the senior class was under examination for degrees. The Professor of Natural Philosophy was badger ing in optics. The point under illustration was that, strictly and scientifically speaking, we see no object, but their ini- ; ages depicted on the retina. The worthy ! Professor, in order to make the matter plainer, said to the wag of the class: “ Mr. j Jackson, did you ever actually see your father ?” Bill promptly replied, “ No, sir.” “ Please to explain why you never saw your father.” “ Because,” replied ..'Mr. Jackson, gravely, “he died before I was born, sir. You know as much as is good for you. For it is with the mind as if is with the senses. A greater degree of learning would terrify us. If our eyes should see things microscopically, we should be afraid to move. Thus our knowledge is suited to situation and circumstances. Were we informed beforehand of good things provided for us by Providence, from that moment we should cease to enjoy the blessings we possess, become indifferent to present duties, aud be filled with restless impatience. Or suppose the things foreknown were gloomy and advene, what dismay and despondency would be the consequence of the discovery ? And how many times should we suffer in imagination what we now bnly j a endure in reality? Who would wish to draw back a veil which saves them from ' so many disquietudes? If some of you had known the troubles through which you have since waded, you would have fainted nnder the prospect, but what we “ know not now we shall know hereafter.” —Jay. * The Scientific American gives the follow- . ing directions, which cannot be placed before the public too often, for detecting the presence of explosive elements in Kerosene : “ The taking of the specific gravity is worthless, because the adulteration by the lighter naptha can be disguised by the addition of a heavy oil. The color and odor are also not to be relied upon. The only reliable test is the temperature of the flashing point; that is, the temperature at which the petroleum takes Are when a burning match is applied to its surface. Thp test can be easily applied. Into aflat dish or saucer pour the oil to be tried until it Is at least half an inch deep; then hold a burning match or taper near the surface. At the point of contact the combustion is often very lively, as the taper draws up some of the liquid, but if the petroleum be safe and free from naptha, the flaiiie dots not spread over the surface. If the petroleum has been adulterated, as soon as the match touches the surfece a blue lambent flame flashes across it, and in a few moments 1 the body of the oil will be on fire. buchaaoU is dangerous—liable to ex-

plode In lamps and to give off Inflammable vapors at all times. Any oil whichAaki s Are when a match is held near its surface and continues to bum ought to be condemned at once and thrown into the street. We lay some stress upon this experiment, because we have actually seen a country merchant pour petroleum into a saucer and ignite it in this way as a proof that it was not dangerous^