Rensselaer Union, Volume 3, Number 22, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 23 February 1871 — NASBY. [ARTICLE]

NASBY.

I 1 [From the Toledo Blade.) MR. NABBY DREAMS A DREAM IN WHICH TJIE NEXT < JNTBBT Is FORESHADOWED TO SOME EXTENT. . * • ConrsnaiT X Roads, I [ Wich Is In the State uv Kentucky,] a , January sth, ICS7I. ) Last nite wuz one of the most heavenly, all things considered, I>hev ever enjoyed. I wuz in perfect peace and perfectly hapy. I hed sot with my friends in Bascom's, indulgin in that free, unrestricted conversashen wich kin only be among friends, and ever and anon quaffed the cup wich cheers and does intoxicate, till a late hour in the nite. One by one my friends departed, till I wuz left alone, and asleep in my chair. Bascom, with that tender regard for me wich bez alluz characterized him, woodent turn me out in the cold nite, but dumpin me out onto the floor, put a chunk of wood under my head that I might rest comfortable, and left me to sleep and dream. I wuz in the most favorable condishui possible, to dream uv Democratic struggles, uud 1 dreamt uv cm. Methaut the gTeat and all-important struggle uv 1872 wuz at had. The two giants. Rcpublikinism and Dimocrisy hed bin brought out by their respective trainers for tiie reglar battle wich they hev wunst in four years. The two giants wuznt so far different in pint uv size, and they was both sadly dilapidated. Republicanism was well made, but there wuz suthin about him that showd his inability to make a successful shindy. He stood badly on his pins, he wuz wiek in the back and there wuz evidently pizen in his system. Wat wuz the matter with him in pertikeler coodnt be diskivered, but that there waz suthin wrong with him wuz evident. Dimocrisy wuz in still worse plight. He wuz rotten from top to bottom, and all through, wuz bleary eyed and weak everywhere, yet he wuz splendidly supported. The backers uv Republikinism wuz all a fitin among themselves, and all uv em slily stabbin their champion, while the backers uv his opponent were perfekly harmonious. Bill Tweed wuz dosin him with a tonic from a bottle labeled “Treasury uv Noq York,” the Pope uv Rome hisscif held him up on one side, while the English manufacturers supported him on the other, so that he made a very respectable show uv winn'n the site. . Republikinism, however, took his posishun with his back to the capital. Jestin. front uv him, and regardin him critically, stood Bill Tweed and Hoffman, with their followers, a gnashin ther teeth ez they lookt beyond him at the treasures wicn his vigilance alone kept them from posse ssin. “ He'll die soon —he can’t live long,” sed Tweed, and then we’ll hev a nashen to plunder, instid uv one paltry State.’! “ When he does die,” said Jim Fish, “ I’ll hev all the railroads atween Noo York and Washinton, and I’ll hev the Twelve Temptasheris played in the old theater wher Dinkin wuz shot.” “ I’ll go.cz Minister to England shoor,” sed Vallandigham. “ There be enuff Fedral offlscs to pervide fur sich uv the Saulsbury iamily ez can’t be Governors and Senators from Dela ware,” sed the ghost uv the father uv the present Saulsburys. In the meantime there wuz trouble in the other camp. Republikinism, at the final nrinit, wuz found to be so debilitated that he could scarcely stand on his feet, and his backers wuz eggsaminiu uv him to find out what wuz the matter. “ Why he’s kivered all over with vermin!” exclaimed one, “audit’s exhaustid his strength!” “ Yis,” sed another, “he’s eaten up with cm, and his day uv yoosfulnis is over," “Look at this San Domingo inseck whose rite -claw is rcachin toward the Treasury.” “Look at this monster under wich a thousand imbeciles, wich kin do nothin but suck his life blood, are harbored.” “ ’Twuz these that eat Cox out uv the Interior. It wuz too troo. There wuz on him every species uv vermin, all uv cm with two claws—one Listened into him, and the other reachin past him into the Treasury, and those who shood hev bin a holdin uv him up were payin too times the atteu#. shion to the Treasury clan than they wuz to the champion. Fenton and Conklin uv Noo York, for instance, hed one monstrous inseck between em wich they wuz carin for and they fought like tigers over hiz claw, and I notist with delight that half the blows they aimed at each other fell on the giant. The presence uv the vermin bein diskivered there wuz a hurried consultashun as to what to do about it. “ I’m a goner!” gasped the unfortunate giant. “ 1 can’t stand this drain long enuff to make a site.” “ Don’t die yet 1” -ejackilated three millions uv niggers, “ for wat’ll become uv us?" “ Don’t die yet!” howled the great majority uv the people in korius; “ for without you there’s an end uv progress and an end uv everything that’s good and hopeful in government.” But there wuz others. There come up some thousands uv men who hedn't more than a quarter inch atween their eyes, whose necks wuz long and crany, who wore white neckercheefs, and not one uv em chawed tobacco; all uv em that kind uv bloodlis men wich heveu’t no pashens and therefore pride themselves on being strickly vircliuous. They examined closely. “ He’s got em on him from top to toe,” shouted one loud-mouthed one “ let’s kill him!"

“ When he begfin life he wuz pure—he’s kivered now with abominablcd leeches—we can’t endoo?' leeches— kill him !” shouted all the narrer-heads. “ Kill him!” shouted Tweed and all his friends, “ for you contracted for purity and look at the creeping things wich is on him.” And there went up a general cry “ kill him!” from a porshen of his adherents, at wich Dimocrisy, who wuz reddy to give him battle, chuckled, for it lookt ez tho his work wood be done without pullin his coat off, at all. “ Kill him!” yelled a Congressman from the West, “ we kan make the site without him ■» - “ Make the site without him!” retorted another. “ You talk ez tho yoo made him —why yoo mizable ass, hevn’t you sense enuff to know he made yoo But this man wuzn’t allowed to be heerd. “Kill him—he’s foul with vermin —kill him,” shouted an immense number uv them in the ranks behind him. At that moment I wuz soapremely happpy. I woodent hev given a ten cent postal currency to hev ben ashoored my post offis at the comers—indeed, the possibility uv a bigger even than that entered my mind. The throng uv indignant men took the weapon wich the the Dimocrisy wuz only too williu to furnish and ''wuz about to carve him when a man from’ Massachoosits sprang in front uv the victim and ejacklated : Friends— l don’t like vermin, but i po LUCE ReMbuiclxifm, mb

BETTER SAVE HIM, AND KILL TEE VERMIN,WICH HEZ FASTENED ON TO HIM T” Immejitly the aspeck uv affairs changed. That idee had never struck the assailants before, and they saw tha pint to wqnst! In a second a thousand willin hands wuz at work. The leaches wuz ppi led off, the vampyres wpz snaked off, and ez each one wuz dislodged the giant seemed to get new strength. Color came to his cheeks—he straightened up wonderfolly—and inan instant almost he assoomdd the old look and old attitood wich characterized him in the early part uv-his life. At this pint I awoke, so I did not see the result uv the battle, or whether there wuz a ballle at all. But if there wuz a site, and cf the champion uv Republikinism went into in the shape and condishen I saw him ez I awoke, there coodent bo no doubt ez to the result. No, indeed. Will the Republikins hev sence enuff to bring themselves up afore us in that shape in 1872 ? On that depends my hope uv the post orfls at the comers. Wood, oh, wood that I knew.

PETROLEUM V. NASBY,

(Wich wuz Postmaster.) —Seventy-three persons were baptized in the Baptist churches in the vicinity of Boston on a recent Sunday. John V. Farwell Co. have removed to their new store 106, 108, 110 and 112 Wabash avenue, Chicago, and are now opening the largest and most varied stock in the city.