Rensselaer Union, Volume 3, Number 18, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 January 1871 — CURRENT ITEMS. [ARTICLE]

CURRENT ITEMS.

vtlffir—foe button* from n coat of pa|ht. A Wood «o raw Wiaa—Nsver g*t otherwise v*. . > j Mast a good man leaveth an inheritance In the-Washington Life Insurance Compony, oflfew York. At Titusville, Pa., the Other day, Johd (H/pln mtsed-a-18-peupd dumb bed .2,1180. -%i44^e| for the change by insuring in the Mutual Life Insurance Company, of Chicago,, ; . lUcbucwd boasts that, of the 1,000 of her citizens who died in 1870, only one died of gout and fohr of Intemperance, r The last literary sensation is a serial atoty hi the new tferiodlcal, Eveut Bov’s Magazine, founded on the extraordinary romance of the Missing Earl of Aberdeen. In Galveston, Texas, an indignant father whose daughter had married against his will sent her for A wedding present a patent burial case. ■ M . • jML :. _ Th* Sumqins Court,-baa decided that the stamping of a noth Atrbsccfnent to’its date, is sufficient where flp fraud, was intended in the omiasiop. Small Bot (to proud friend, with a weed on his hat).—“Well, you needil’t be so precious upoisli about it neither, as if nobody else’s other cpnjdu’t die except youm!" A said of a quack -that Hhc was such an ignoramus that, ICJie could take u lantern and go down Inside liis patients, he -oouldn’t find out what the matter was.” - Z'T’ r-. ;y-v> A Maine sophomorq tried t<y haze a freshman, but c»me off second best. The “ ftrsh ” tied him Info a eliair and shaved bis head, all but -a scaip lock- on the crown. , The Judge of the Court of Common Pleas at Indianapolis, Ind., has determined tiiat professional jurors-i-men who lmug around the court-rribm for the prirpble of being placed on juries—shall not serVelrt his court. f The Chinamen iu California, whose means would allow, have all gone home to celebrate the beginning of a new 1,000 years, which .comes-iq. February. The last celebration was in 870. - , ’ " ' “ Take off your bonnet, and spfcud the afternoon, my dear Mrs. Slow. - We are going to have tableaux to-night, and { am sure you will enjoy them.” “Law-sakes, I thought I smelt something good acopkin’ and guess I will stop until, after supper.”

A (.ADV who recently died in Boston, rtt flic age of eighty-seven years and nine months, had iiVgd in the same house froitt her birth,-and never heard a Sermon except in the New South Church. - a. A i.itti.e school-boy presented his teacher the following note from home as an excflse for tardiness: “Baby erdss Biscuit to bake had no Baken powder the dqg upset the kaughphy-pot the cat liched the milk got up late A Catholic gentleman, who was on the point of being'married, Pbtained ffoin his hoivthssor his certificate of confession. Having read.it, he observed that the priest had orajtted tiie usual penance. “Did you not tell me,” said the confessor, “ that you were going to be married^' 1 To Gkammauians. —The verb “is f/ being singular and “are” its plural, does it follow that Arabella is the pluraj ofIsabella, and must the latter necessarily be as singular in disposition- as in number, and if so, must Arabella always be a mar: lied woman, Isabella being single! A man in Cbvington, KV, made a. bet the other day that he could drink a pint and a half of Cincinnati whisky in twelve hours. He won the bet, says the Louisville Courier-Journal, and his widow remarked at the funeral the next day that it was the first mbftfey he had earned* by . hard work in tep years. A kabmee's wife, in Contra Costa, Cal., ciit open a turnip,'and found a gopher dead in Its center. The little fellow had eaten its way into the turnip, which had taken new life and. closed the hole, or else he laid in its way and it grew around him—(rile of the two —the farmer’s wife says. At all events, the gopip>p weqTgo for any inore turnips. ' * -V . The details es tlife death of Mr, John Walter, son.of the proprietor of the London ’Times, ffhoWsthat it occurred while trying to save his brother and cousioi who had fallen through the io6 when skating on a lake in front of his father’s residence at Bearwood, Berkshire. lie had only returned forty-djriit houtti before from a Jour round the world- e\ t i rr < r The night editor'of a daily paper wrbte fids head line to pne of liis cable; dg>patche's':'’ , “The BfiuSli *lon shalrirfg nife mane.” He was unable to eat his breakfast next fnorning When be found the printer’s version of the matter staring him ib the face thus: “ The British lion'skating in Maine."

A tiuef of strongly religious impulses, but imperfectly educated, made a raid upon the premises of a preacher named Guild, in Nebraska City, the other night, and captured* lot of shirts, sheets, cutlery, &c." Next morning the bundle was left at the dixit, with the following: “ Rev. Gild —Diddent no twoasaminneisters hous or woodent a took tlieas things. Hear they ia, Conscexce.” • The chairman a Wesitahjf vigilance committee, who was instructed to duek an obnoxious citizen, thus reported to his constituents: “We took the thief down to the river, made a hole in the ice and ‘proceeded to but he .slipped through our hands and hid undef the ice.. AH our efforts to entice him to come out failed, and he has now -retained his, point of advantage some hours.” ’ - •• a

Mbs. Jake P. Thurston, the crazy 'Woman who sold the State of Maine at auction, last winter, to satisfy her claims . Against it, is at Augusta agaim--seeking relief from the Legislature. Sne became a monomaniac over real or funcied injuatice done her in the settlement of her husband’s estate. Though quite sane on other -subjects, she commits the wild extravagances in relation to her supposed wrongs. In Perry County, Pa., recently, Washington Blair “ treed ” a fox id a hollow stump about fifteen feet high. He climbed after Reynard, and when on the top of the stump, the wood, being rotten, broke from his hold, and he fell inside to foe bottom, foe cunning, animal making his escape, and leaving Mr. Blair in the trap he had intended for itself. After thirty-six hours laborious work with a pen-knife, the luckless hunter succeeded in whittling himself out.’

' A few days ago the engineer of a train on the Boston & Albany road," having run down a market wagon, stopped foe train as soon as possible to learn the. re-, sult of the .accident. Upon dismounting and looking on foe platform connected with the cow-catcher, he found a man, well muffled up, with a bag of oats and a tub of butter by his side, sitting Veiry comp wABly, apparently on. his way to market ! He was not hurt in foe least, though his team, was made into kindlingwood. - A smart girl in Minnesota popped foe question to her lover, asked foe consent of his parents, procured a marriage license, ordered foe Wedding, breakfast, foe carriage to convey them to foe depot, wd. 'creation with the, par■io day. The young man a years ,m foe effort sot tm, and had failed every noticed font- be. had r upon- his mtud,sncLachim to get rid of it » Boning Pott says: “ A ll i young gentlenum, whose convivial dispo-

rition Jiad led him to 1 toes the flowing bowl * a few rimes oftenar than was good for him, determined to quit—to ‘ achware olf *A-«ul, to raeke sure that he would not forget hie pledge, has had on armlet of lrbn, one-eighth inch in thickness, and fiveeighths In width, soldered or welded upon his left arm, above the elbow. The chances are that if he obwains from liquor until this ornament wears off, he will lead a tolerably sofoer life. < ■ A LoxpdJf baker has his bill heads printed upon paper of three different colors—red, green, and white. The object of this is to hvolff the necessity of giving Instruction* to the man who delivers the bread, flour, etc., to the customers, as when the bill is made out upon a red paper, it denotes “ danger,” and he is not to leave the goods without the cash,- If on green paper, it denotes “ caution,” as the customer u doubtful, and the man is to get the money if he can; if on white, it is safe to leave any quantity of goods on credit, A wealthy German resident of Never*, in Franoe, waa shot in the prison court- of that city, recently, as a spy. He had lived for thirty years in France, and, to the last, £ rotes ted his innocence. .He offered the 'reach authorities iiOO.OOO francs ransom for his life, but it was refused. On seeing that all his efforts were in vain, he became resigned to liis fate, and died in the most courageous manner, asking the soldiers to aim at ills breast, and not his • head, as he (lid hot wish to have his face lacerated by bullets. How Long a Hco (!an Fast.—The Farmers' Home Journal of . Lexington, Ky., says: Mr. Wm. Hardin, of this county, Missed about four weeks ago one of his fat hogs. He snpposed it bad been stolen. *A few days ago he was hunting in one of his fields, his dogs were attracted to a sinkhole, and on examination the hog was discovered at the bottom in which there was a quantity of mud and water. The hog was drawn out and afterward well fed and istnow doing well, thongh it laid for twenty-eight days without food. Some years ago, in New York, a turn-, pike-tnapector imposed a penalty on a gate-keeper for keeping the gate open after he had ordered it closed. The fine was paid, but tne gate-keeper subsequently instituted a suit to recover back the $lO. Thei case has continued ever since, every year new Issues arising, until at the present time, there are seventeen cases on the calendar of the Commission of Appeals, and sixteen more on the calendar of thegeneral term —thirty-three In all. The expense of pfo’sectiting these cases must have been hundreds, probably thousands, of dollars. A editor is, out in a card, refusing to speak to (toy 'biarrie’d lady of lie says: “We truest that our motive-Jfl|hicU ia pure cowardice —will not be ffdsconsttjied. Somebody .parishes e*£ry day for being on speaking terms with 'ntarrted women, aha we'Mbqtraro tohaye. otti’rtiim come Tound. freenjyigrati past forbearance of lug&rfeved hushknds, we make our bow and retire. Hereafter our nuejs and smil(f%V l Sriifthe lavished Aupon kirls and widow's |fo;,«hero* need apply. Wl/Sover ahaU attempt to introduce us to Ins own wife, or that of an* other man, wilupe Jbtarded as a conspirator against ou< toPcfoqs life, andsubfccted to abuse ia thffpebimuß of this paper. -TjieSSb ar£joauy brave-hearted men whose names are never known tojfame, but whose quiet heroism is more worthy of mention than scores of more pbbllc deeds of daring winch readily win praise apd renown. _-Sbrntoinisß fnstonfes of self-' sacrifice in private soldiers come to light Tyffh-'h are truly noble. During the siege or Metz the supply of chloroform in the hands of the medical officers became Very limited. After ohe of the sorties a soldier was brought to the hospital with his hand smashed by a shell. Examination showed that soißo'of th§ shattered'boDes must be removed. The sokiifer ■ asked to be made insepsiblc during she "operation. “ I have b.-en suffering terribly for the last two houra,” .said he, ‘ and I <j° not believe that I could support any further pain.” The surgeon-seas, silent. It was a very painful operation, but the chloroform was altoosl gone. Noticing that the surgeon did not reply, after a short pause the soldier inquired, “Is the stuff that makes one sleep getting short?” “Terribly short,” the surgeon said; “it has nearly come to an end-’’ The wounded man was Silent for a minute or two ; then he said, “ Very well, M. lq Docteur, then I will do without it; some of those who have worse wounds than I have will wapt it more; only be quick about it.” So saying, he stuffed his handkerchief fnfPhU mouth, and held out his hand for the OpferStlon to be performed. ■This quiet resignation,of what would have alleviated his own torture for the benefit Of others was true heroism. ,