Rensselaer Union, Volume 2, Number 43, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 21 July 1870 — CURRENT ITEMS. [ARTICLE]

CURRENT ITEMS.

Us (WTKI, A Mh Chamberlain delivered tire oration *t Lakeville, Dakota oounty, Minn , on the Fourth. To avoid anxiety in Sickness end health, he insured in the Washington Lite Inaur anee Company of Mew York. It ia said that trichinae have been discovered in the flesh of deer shot in their native wilds in Oregon. Eiohtikn young men have been fined $lO each lor habitually “ loafing ” on the street corner* of Boston. A tigwms was killed lr> the Madras presidency by quill of a porcupine pieretag ' her throat while eating the animal. “I won't pay for steak as tough as this,” said an angry boarder; “no law can compel me—it’s not legal tender.” Vice- President Colfax has been in* vited to deliver the annual address at the Vermont State Fair, at Burlington, September 18. Do you .want to see your wife’s smiles * Secure her from poverty by a policy in the Washington Lire, of New York. More than 24,000 persons, rendered houseless by the great fire in Constantinople, have been provided, for by the Turkish Government. A St. Louis paper describes s letter of Horace Greeley as looking “as if somebody had smashed a bottle of ink on it, and tried to wipe it off with a currycomb.” In the vestibule of a church in South Gardner, Mass., may be seen the following: " Notice ! Person* chewing tobacco will please spit in their hats.” The sister of Samuel Craft, a wealthy farmer of Glen Cove, N. Y., was recently attacked by an infuriated cow, and before she could be rescued was gored to death. • 7 A victim of unrequited affection concludes as follows: “ I sat me down nd thought profound; This mnim wise I drawn's easier far to like a girl Tuan make a girt like jou.” The petty tradesmen of London, to whom Dickens bad given orders, on the &u uoancement of his death displayed these autograph notes in their windows, with an eye to custom. In Pittsburgh, on the Fourth, a firecracker was thrown into the mouth of a boy aged ten years, and exploded there. The boy has entirely lost his voice, but is otherwise uninjured. gown workmen of a town in Hanover amused themselves by stripping a tipsy companion and fastening him in that condition to a tombstone. A few hoars later he was found there, dead. A Sunday School teacher, deploring the lack of attendance on his ministra lions, appealed to the few present: “What can I do,” said he, “to get the boys and girls here?” “I know,” said one of the urchins. “Whatis it?” “Give ’em all live cents apiece.” Thx Hon. Andrew Stewart, of Pennsylvania, visited Washington a few days ago, and was at the CapitoL He is nearly ninety years old, and was in Congress fifty /ears ago. Not one of his Congressional colleagues is alive. Detroit has 14,698 families, 718 stores, 381 groceries, 446 offices, 63 hotels, 190 boarding houses, 54 churches, 13 public halls, 108 public schools, 898 machine shops. 669 places where liquor is sold, &c. The number of families in 1860 was 8,963. In Los Angeles and San Diego counties, Cal., one may ride twenty-seven miles along the highway without quitting the land of Don Juan Foster. The landed possessions of that gentleman are set down at three hundred square miles. Mb. Cutckanickfucks Yakutskolitmilks Sak iatskylitmilks Ankachagamuks Kekutonekutzokorts keeps a hotel at Sitka, Alaska. He says that the Americans have the queerest names he ever heard of, and it is with the utmost difficulty he can pronounce them. A Baltimore policeman the other day arrested one of three brother-rowdies for insulting a lady. The brothers assailed the officer with clubs Jo rescue the prisoner, but the officer clung to his man, toek him to the watch-house, and in a few minutes died of his wounds A New Orleans man, with a bottle of mucilage in his pocket, enjoyed the. society of two lady lriends in a street, unconscious that the bottle was broken. When they desired to leave, all were stuck fast, and only persevering effort* and the sacrifice of silks and doeskin released them. Ah old hypochondriac in New York imagines every few days that he is going to die. He has made several wills, which are destroyed when he recovers from the “ attacks,” and he has said farewell to his family and given directions about his funeral more than twenty times. A gentleman whose nose had! becomedistinctly colored with the red whflg'he was wont to imbibe. eauL one day to his little, awrt at the tkble: “You must eat Bread, my boy; bread makes your cheeks red.” The little boy replied: “Father, What lota of bread you must have snuffed up 1” A correspondent writing from Ireland recounts a visit to an Irish school in the Black Valley. An address was made to the children, and at its conclusion they were asked what they expeeted to do when they became men and women, when, with one inspiration; the forty pupils responded, “ Go to America.” Dr. Laxessax, a French physician, recently lost his life in consequence, it is said, or his excessive exertion to resuscitate a young girl who was nearly drowned in the Seme. The Doctor breathed his own breath into her long#, but as she begun to rt cover, he fainted away and oouid not be restored to consciousness. A convivial dub in Norwalk, Conn., were recently invited to the house of their President to partake of lobster salad, which he prepared with his own hands. Some of the party detected that it possessed a peculiar flavor, and the next day the fact leaked out that, by a mistake, furniture polish, instead of olive oil, had been used in its preparation.

The Colusa (pal.) Sun gives an account of a couple of gentlemen of that burgh, who, while riding home one dark night, mistook a white call; tied by the roadside, for a highwayman, discharged their pistols at it without hiding it, and then galloped back to town, where they aroused the population with their harrowing story of the encounter. A. Wihsted, Ct, lady was some time , ago struck by lightning.and lay for hours unconscious, dead to *4 human appearances. She distinctly heard her friends declare she was “ unquestionably dead and she would have been buried alive had not her brother insisted (while the bystanders laughed him to scorn) upon hoping and working and waiting for n-s toration, which he at length accomplished. I'mm following dreadful case of aoch

dental (hooting is tha* told by ths Boston Port: A oarefttl Pennsylvanian waited till his wife went to the' barn for lien’s eggs, and then tried his new gan with a load of buckshot and the side of the barn as a target. The doctor picked the shot out of her and the husband wltl have to wall the slow process of divorce before he can marry the woman ol his choice. A lioiithino rod mao. In putting up one of hi* rod* between Indianapolis and Gtnclnnsti, connected It with a Western Union telegraph wire, “ In order,”’ he tfrtd, “to relieve the lightning ml If it should become excessively charged with electricity.” He succeeded ir. relieving the line of its dispatches, which ran into the ground, and cited a large and well selected amount of “cussing” at both ends of tne line. Thx famous expression of an Irish orator respecting a political rival that “he never opened bis mouth except to put hi* foot in It;” may apply to a horse owned by T. It. Simon ton, of Cynden, Maine. That gentleman found his horse last week in a condition resulting from such an experiment He had got his hind hoof in his mouth and could not getitout. Eventual y the hoof had to be pried out with a wagon stake pushed in behind it Prof. Piazzi Smtth, astronomer royal for Scotland, has made a long series of observations on the temperature of the earth with underground thermometers, and is thereby led to conclude that some relation exists between this temperature and the amount of snn spots, and that it takes place in a certain order, dcducible from the observations. Following this out as a conclusion, he is of opinion that next winter will be unusually severe throughout the British Islands. A little child of Mr. Moore, in Fond du Lac, Wis., recently had a most remarkable escape from a shocking death. Hhe was standing on the railroad track when a freight train came In. As soon as the engineer observed the child he whistled down brakes, but too late to stop tire train. When the cow-catcher struck the child it was thrown upon the small platform in front of the engine, escaping without a bruise, being carried some distance on the engine. The wife of a California farmer, being sick, her physician ordered some powder, largely composed of opium, and directed her husband to administer the weight of a quarter eagle at a dose. In the morning, when the doctor returned, the patient was dead, and evidently of poison. “Unhappy man,” said the doctor, “ where is the powder I gave you ?" “ I gave it to her. Here is the empty box.” "You forgot my prescription, then ?” “ No, doctor. I put the two dollars and a half in one scale, and the powder in the other.” “ Was it in gold T” “ No; I did not have gold, and made Up the amount in stiver.”’ “Mr son,” said an old lawyer, giving advice to his son, who was just entering upon the practice of his lather’s profusion, “ if you have a case where the law is clearly on your side, but justice seem 9 to be against you, urge upon the jurv the necessity of sustaining the law. If; on the other hand, you are in doubt about the law, but your client’s case is clearly founded upon justice, insist upon the necessity of doing justice even though the heavens should fall." “ But,’.’ asked the son, “bow shall I manage in a case where both law and justice are dead against me?” “In that case, my son," replied the old stager, “ talk round it” While the inspector on a train bound cast from Kansas City was testing the car wheels at Jefferson City, Missouri, he discovered a boy under one of the cars, who had concealed himself there all the way from Kansas City. He had formed a sort of Det of rope, in which he lay suspended like a spider in its web, between the axle ofone of the trucks and the floor of the car. The boy was routed out of his place, and quite a crowd gathered about him on the platform. He was disposed to be saucy, and stated that he had ridden in this way thousands of miles. As the train was moving slowly from Jefferson City the boy got in his old place again under the car while it was in motion. The conductor was notified and stopped the train. The boy was hauled out from his lurkingplace, and taking up a stone, was in the act of hurling it at the conductor, when the latter knocked him down.