Rensselaer Union, Volume 2, Number 40, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 30 June 1870 — CURRENT ITEMS. [ARTICLE]

CURRENT ITEMS.

it r^gr^yifn^C-tomhßM. No tttj^g§4ggJiSnKS^it -thy poiiciM USsptfssaSa^.te Om. Smbltoh MACMOrwfe of the PhiljjMpkte Freu, it witting a Ufa of Charles v Tfl e 44 fidb«n of Caadan, N. J., hwtfteWHßcled bose-ball playing in that tana tew poor follow at Bangor who •p “it's working between meals that’s killing him t" IfWtt in New Tork tewed up a chihFs mawtoUa became It wouldn’t ute a On of the tallest horses in the world. Standing nineteen bands high, is owned In St John, N. B. Tom Thumb has his life Insured, and than he are insured in the It is announced that false ehignont, plaits and carte can be, and have been, made of spun glam. Own of Dickens’s eons is in literature, one in Australia, one in the British nary, and a fourth at a university. A Pbovibbhc* undertaker has a pleas ant habit at sending his card to all the sick persona ha can hear of A Fines merchant in an Eastern city pleads that he cannot meet his engagements because the money market is so tipsy—he means “ tight.” Th* real and personal property of California is returned by the Assessors at an aggregate not exceeding $840,000,000. A deceased Bostonian left by his will SI,OOO to be divided among the clerks of the bank tfet had the care of his fortune. A Massachusetts man, who has for months sold a patent medicine, has just in the nick of time turned undertaker. A Vermont deacon hitched an orphan boy beside his team and lashed him all the way home, as a punishment for running away to the village. As envious rival nays that a New Jersey editor has prevailed on Miss Kate FtaOd to devote herself exclusively to curtain lectures. The taxable properly of St. Louis has a been assessed at $147,014,430. The OitiM of -the city are $12,034,467, and the assets $9,135^08. Miss Amy M. Brady is the first woman office holder in North Carolina. She has been appointed Examiner of Schools in NewTte&over county. A high minded Connecticut man took a noble way to vent his malice against a clergyman. He went into his garden and pulled up all his vegetables. A four year old boy in Hartford took such a dislike to the baby of the house, that, in the absence of the mother, he took a poker and killed her by striking her on the head. Evavder Spencer, of Lenox, Ohio, lms recently been fined one hundred and fifty dollars for violation of the postal laws, in forwarding through the mall a letter inclosed in a newspaper. Th* Bangor Whig says a thrifty housewife in that dty recently sent word to the grocer who delivered her some eggs the other day, to either come and take the egg* away or send up some chicken coops. “If I put my money in the savings bank, when «an I get it out again ?” asked one of the newly arrived. “ Och,” says his friend, “sure an’ if you put it in today, you .can draw it out again to-morrow, by giving a fortnight’s notice.” Th* Glen’s Falls (N. T.) RepuKican describes a gigantic fossil tooth, which it says was recently dug up in that town. It weighs eight and a half pounds, and measures eleven inches by six end a half. Dickers is said to have given in Mr. Wilkins Mkawber a playful and extravagant portrait of his father, Mr. John ] Dickens, an impecunious clerk in the navy pay office, whose overdue “notss" Charles collected and paid. Ok* of thy Beecher girls used to say that she had three rules to guide her in copying her father’s MBS.: It a letter was dotted it was not an i; if a letter was crossed it wasn't t; and if a word began with a capital letter it didn’t begin a sentence.” A writer says that he has no hesitation in saying, from his experience in the matter, that the American thorn, from its hardiness and perfect adaptability to the purposes required, must become the hedge plant for American farmers. After the passengers had been taken from the wrecked car in the recent Vermont railroad disaster, one of them was seen rushing about in a very excited manner, and being asked if he was much mK replied that he “ wasn’t hurt much, anted to find his umbrella.” A gentleman sent a lad with a letter to the post-office, and money to pay the postage. Having returned with the money, he said, “ Guess I’ve done the thing slick I see a good many folks putting letters in the post-office through a hole, and so I watched my chance, and got mine in for nothing.” Ah attorney presenting a copy of a writ to an auctioneer apologized for his unfriendly visit, as he was merely performing an unpleasant duty of his profession. “Certainly not,” said the auctioneer, “you must attend to the duties of your profession, and so must I to mine,” and Instantly knocked him down. tat Rockford (Texas) Jranscript, of the 4th, says: “ There is a field of corn in the near vicinity of this place which has not received a drop of rain since it was four inches high— it now has roasting ears—and it cannot be perceived from its looks that it ever needed any.” Rkckntly a drunken min crept into a stable in Meriden, Ct., and lay down in the horse’s bed of clean straw to sleep off his potations. When discovered, he was lying at full length under the horse’s belly, the animal standing with legs extended to avoid hurting the drunken sleeeper. A* intellectual . young lady—“ Oh, mamma, I asked Miss Brown what is dew* Bhe says it is the moisture imbibed by plants during the nights of the summer months. Now, mainma, dear, dew is the condensation of aqueous vapor by a body which has radiated its atomic portion of caloric below the atmospheric temperature.” Th* Boston excursionists went to see some seals on exhibition in San Francisco, and one of the reporters tells of an instance of “ shocking depravity on the part of one of the Bostonians," who had a San Francisco lady on his arm. She slid to him: “Are not the seals huge creatures, Charles?" “ Oh!” replied he, “you should see the great seal of Massachusetts!” Th* celebrated Dr. Doddridge once wrote thus to a lady whom he afterward married : “You have made a greater advance upon my heart in a few hours than I intended to allow you in as many weeks; indeed, you have possessed yourself of so much room in it that, unless you consent to be a tenant for life, our parting will be eacaedicgly troublesome, and it will be a toy white before J shall get into repair

“How tea fellow to know what to do?” was the exclamation of a New Yorker, who went to atheatre a few nights ago, laaving his watch, chain, purse, Ac., at bums, for fear be -might be robbed or fUTotad on bit way there and back. When as got home, he found the house been carried off Ah Arkansas naner says: “The ooming Woman came yesterday. She arrived,at tbs railroad station at noon. She came alone all the way from Boston. She met a stranger as she alighted from the train, whom she had never seen before. The stranger was fascinated by bar. They were at onoe married by a justice of tho peace, and set out for home u an ox-cart. Heaves bless them.’’ Th* Chinese are said to be remarkably succeaafol agriculturists. Whereas many of the old farms in California have become almost completely exhausted and unproductive, the Chinese residents make the most fertile fields and gardens anywhere, even on the most arid patches of sandy shore. They have books giving fall and minute directions regarding every branch of agriculture, and these are followed by successive generations without material change. At a recent wedding in Bridgeport, Conn., the bridal party had swept up the aisle in glorious style, taken their places, and were waiting the words of the clergyman, when an apparently insane gentleman stepped forward, tapped the bridegroom on the shoulder, and said in a whisper audible to those near by, “ Before this affair goes any further, I wish to know one thing—who will build the fires f The groom, as soon as he could recover from his abashment, and seeing that the question would be repeated, indignantly replied : “ I will—only be still." Th* following plan is said to have been lately pursued in order to hasten the decision of a refractory Jury, who were locked up to consider their verdict, in England : It was past supper-time, and the court officials had no wish to pass the night in waiting upon the twelve good men who were deliberating on their verdict. A large dish of beefsteak, fried with onions, giving off a body of aroma sufficient to fill the largest hall in England, was brought into the passage close to the door of the unhappy jurymen’s prison. The door was opened, the cover taken off the dish, the aroma of the steaks and onions floated in, and invaded and pervaded every square inch of the little room. Mere mortal Englishmen couldn’t stand ont long against such an appetizing aroma. A second opening of the door and advancement oi the dish clinched the matter, and enabled the jury to find a unanimous verdict.