Rensselaer Union, Volume 2, Number 38, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 16 June 1870 — CURRENT ITEMS. [ARTICLE]

CURRENT ITEMS.

■KaiMas M«« moA tbu two thou - noumUei4nH«n|. " ‘rf' 4 '• A nxuro, bMEty-aix years old, la Delais his filth wife Tuu are qte hundred and fifty asslstaat marshals employed in taking tIM oensns of Now torkWty. - A swarm dt ****** up their abode in a man’s ear in the other day. Insure yonr life for the amount your fcnn is saortgagsd for, In tbs Washington Life. It is said that an appeal is to be made for foods to restore and repair Mount Vernon.

Bt a recent law Maryland pays $121,120 annually in pensions to 1,514 soldiers of the war of 1812. , Thk increase of business in the Washington Life la 18CT over 1066 was greater than any other cash company. Nbvkr he be to fearless of work as to go to sleep by the side of it A little fear is both healthy and profitable. A schoolboy defined “ appetite" by explaining that “ when I’m eating I’m happy, and when I’m done, I’m tight." A barefoot fisherman went to sleep in n field near Milford, Mass., recently, anil a grazing coll bit a piece off bis big toe. The outrage of clipping the hair of little girls on the streets of Terre Haute, Ind., has been perpetrated several times recently. A Ban Francisco dentist, moeting a delinquent debtor on the street, choked him until he gave up his false teeth, and took them as pay. Denver, Colorado, was built on the banks of an extinct creek. The creek has now become a constant stream, needing to be crossed by bridges. Tbkbr are now at 8t Lazare, the great female prison in the environs of Paris, over fifteen hundred convicts, most of whom arc under twenty years of age.

A phtsici an of Adams county, lowa, was sued for malpractice in setting a leg, and the jury returned a verdict ot #2,000 damages lor the plaintiff. A respectable gentleman in New Haven, Conn., carries, with him a ring through which he tries to pass all eggs before he purchases, If they pass through he doesn’t buy. ’ • T A Pittsburgh tailor, who failed to “ fit ” a customt r with a “ suit," has been arrested tor “ false pretences ” and put under SBOO bail, the charge being that “he didn’t know his business.” Massachusetts is to have an editorial convention, whereupon the Boston Times says: “ The Massachusetts editors are to meet together and make an effort to treat each other civilly.” The difference between war and peace has been well defined by one of the ancients : “In time of peace the sons bury their fathers; in time of war the fathers bury their sons ” A Nashua (N. H ) Irishman, while being lowered into a deep well for cleaning purposes, the other d»y, when about half way down got frightened, and shouted, “ let me up, or I’ll cut the rope." “My dear," said the sentimental Mrs. Waddles, “ home, you know, is always the dearest spot on earth ” ‘‘ Well, yes,” gaid the practical Mr. Waddles, “it does cost me about twice as much as any other spot.”

There are 9,811 Indians located in Wisconsin, belonging to the following tribes': Chippewas, Ottawa?, and Pottowatomies, 5 893; Menomonees, 1,500; Oneidas, 1,218; Winnebagoes, 1,000; Stockbridgts. 400. A young married woman in Boston was so disgusted her husband’s excessive use of tobacco that she herself learned to smoke, as an antidote, and now puffs her Havana with much gusto. A Boston hackman, after being directed to bring down a trunk from the third story of a residence in that city, was requested to take off his boots, that he might not soil the carpeting. He declined to do it. A paper puts a matter which it wishes to enforce in the following neat simile : “ You might as well attempt to shampoo an elephant with a thimbleful of soapsuds as attempt to do business and ignore advertising.” “So you are going to keep a school?” said a young lady to her old aunt. “ Well, for my part, sooner than do that, I'would marry a widower with nine children." “ I should prefer that myself,” was the reply; “ but where is the widower y” One of the Yankton Sioux Chiefs calls himself “ Bijl Goosequill.” The Detroit Titbuhf says; “This is evidently a rude attempt by the poor untutored red man to pay a tribute to the name and fame of William Pom." Soke crusty old bachelor in Congress proposes to lay a tax of 25 per cent, on corsets, whereupon a down-Eist paper remarks: “Since there is no tax on men getting tight, why should not the ladies have the same privilege ?" A correspondent, writing on the religious condition oi Cuba, says there is not a Protestant place of worship in Havana, nor, as far as he can ieara, in ihe whole island. The Catholic churches are attended by but few, and they mostly women. A West Chebteb boy, eleven years old, got up before he got awake, the other morning, jumped out of the second story window to the ground, and then, in a somewhat battered condition, rang for admission to the house. Such is the sad effect of early rising. The somewhat extraordinary case of a man tried on the charge of attempting to commit suicide came up in tty; Worcester (Mass.) courts a few days ago. John D. Dennis-was arraigned, a proforma verdict of guilty rendered, and the case taken to the higher -court on exceptions. A wokam in Aroostook county, Me., whose house caught fire the other day during the absence of all the “ men folks,” poured upon the flames all the water there was in the house, then used up her milk and creank and finally resorted to her meat-barrels Jfep the pickle. She subdued the flames.

This Gl«w*«ter (Hue) Advertiser itemizes thus‘•A man who owes ub a little bill, said be Would call last week and pay us if he' was alive. He still appears on the srfeet, but as he did not call, it is naturally supposed that he is dead and is walking around to save funeral expenses.’’ A oRUBRAL order has been issued from the War Department to officers of the army, in which the practice of signing official papers so carelessly that the signatures cannot be deciphered is referred to, and notice gives that, all letters so signed will receive no notice whatever, or will be returned to the writers lor correction. A Nkw York paper says: “ There is a trick being extensively practiced by homely, but wealthy, girls who want to marry. They get themselves up to look like dyspeptics in the last stages, when some nice man marries them. Parties in this city will make a splendid counterfeit dyspeptic or consumptive out of a healthy girl in three days for SSO.

Thkrr is to be a general reunion of the Alifmni and past Cadets of Norwich University, at Northfield, VC, on the 13th and 14th of July next, in Accordance with a vote of the association passed in 1865. As this occurs during Commencement week, a large gathering is anticipated, and the occasion will be one of Very great interest The oration is to be delivered by an emi-

Dent soldier of the wsr, Brigadier General W. H. 11. Davis. It Is proposed by the association to visit on ihfe 13th, en mess*, the old site ot the University at Norwich, aad this ,1s .by no moans tbs least attractive part of the programme. A short time ago, as a train from the Union Stock Yards to Chicago, on the Fort Wayne & Chicago Railroad, was passing round a curve, the engineer blew nia whistle for the brakes to be put on, and the train soon came to a stop; but not until the engine had ran over what appeared to be a man. The engine backed up, some ol the passengers rushed out, a few of the ladies fainted, and great oxcitomenl prevailed. But all fears were dispelled by the discovery that the cars had only passed over a cast-off suit of clothes, stuffed with straw. Last month, in an English court, a legal matter was proposed to stand over till the Ist of June, when some one exclaimed, in horror, “ Why, that’s the Derby I" Calmly and majestically the response came: “ The court knows nothing of the Derby Day—but makes it the 2d of June." This reminds one of the scene between Paterfamilias and Young Hopeful reading the paper. “I am surprised, Charles," says the former, “ that you should encourage such a brutal sport as lighting. That paper contains the fullest account, doesn’t it, of the contest between Sayers and Heenan ? I’ll trouble you for it as soon as you can spare it." Thf. Worcester Bpy says : “ Two bootblacks got into a dispute on the street yesterday, as to which of them could give a boot the best ‘shine.’ The one who was beaten determined to be champion in something, and, taking a threaded needle, he pinched up a large piece of flesh on one leg, and triumphantly drew the needle and thread through ; to be beaten would never do for the champion ‘ shine,’ so be took the needle, and, placing it in his mouth, be forced it through the check and pulled it through from the outside. This ended the strife and the audience dispersed.”

As a train of cars was leaving West Rutland, Vi., a few days since, the engineer, Chas. McKeougb, saw a man on the track. He whistled for the brakes and shut off steam. Seeing that the man paid no attention, McKeough kicked open the door or window of the cab and went to the lront of the engine, near the" head-light, and, as the engine was about to strike the man, he caught him by the hair of his head and lifted him upon the engine under the head-light, and held him there until the train could be Stopped, which was not done until it had gone about twenty rods. His name was George Wise. He was deaf, and did not hear the engine or whistle.

Makoarkt Debauch, of Harrisburgh, Pa, aged 18, was bitten by a small dog on one of her fingers, several weeksago. No inconvenience was felt from the wound alter it healed until the 27th ult., when •she felt a pinching sensation in the arm, extending from the fiDger-tip to the shoulder. On the 29th, she became fearfully afflicteJ. She foamed much at the mouth, exhibited great nervous irritability, breathed with much difficulty, and appealed piteously to those about her to keep at a distance, as if fearful that she might do them a personal injury. During oue of her spasms a dog entered the room in which she was lying. As soon as her eyes fell on the animal she became perfectly furious, and not until it was removed did her agitated feelings undergo a subsidence. The sight of water also increased the violence ot her convulsions. From the time she got the first severe spasms until drugs were administered she was tied to a rocking-chair. Occasionally she would spring up violently, carrying the chair with her, although held by a gentleman. When her agitated feelings were subdued, she was laid on a sofa, to which she was secured until she died.