Rensselaer Union, Volume 2, Number 31, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 28 April 1870 — How to Get Rich. [ARTICLE]

How to Get Rich.

BY JEHIAL SLAB.

Ist. Believe, when you start in life, that a hundred thousand dollars will be joy, and a half million happiness complete. 3d. Drive sharp bargains. 3d. Shave the notes of the needy, and shave close. : ’ 4th. Pinch the faces of tho poor, and pinch hard. sth. Foreclose mortgages on the unfortunate as often as you can, and bid in the property yourself at 75 per cent, below its real value. etb, Wherever and whenever you get a chance to grind for poverty or necessity, always take the grist and leave the toll. 7th. Tug and slave in all the other mean, large and little ways that you can get into, and some day you will havo your hundred thousand—perhaps your half million—and be rich. After following my directions thus far, I suppose you are anxious to know how to enjoy your riches: Ist. You have your half million, but you aro sixty. You have a load on your shoulders, too, much larger and meaner than a good man can handily carry. You will have to lay that off before you can begin to erijoy. Say it takes you five, years to do it; you will then be sixtyfive. 2d. You discover that nearly every poor soul who tries to find religion on the path through your church is sure to find those old business tricks and ways of yours first, and stumble over them. lou must let life and act show community now, that you are permanently located iu a higher, nobler, better groove. Eight years more of doubts, trials and anxieties before you can accomplish that, and begin to enjoy your wealth—Seventythree. 3d. All through your business years you were a good, faithful husband, a kind father. You ueither swore, drank, fought nor gamed. You were a law-abiding citizen in every respect. But the Devil, in aH those years, never once lost sight of you. lie thought a world of you /or youth-corrupting pur- . poses. You were one of his “ Old Reliables.” More useful to him as a down-hill starter than any five open, sweating, fighting, street sinners in the whole of that part ot his earthly domain. Why ? were pirates of society, with black flag, skull and cross-bones nailed to the mast-head. You were a pirate under colors of a merchantman. The Devil still sticks to your track, lie has a very powerful inclination not to give you up. Those old temptations that he got you with so early in life; you will have togetrid of them. And tho new ones—sprouts from the same old roots—how they will worry you. Count ten years more on to your life before you begin to enjoy. Only eightythree now. 4th. Young men in the mean time have been looking up your business history, finding out Just how you planted, sowed and reaped—suddenly starting out one after another on your old paths, trying to follow and gain as great riches and respectability as you. Often they have questioned conscience a little while going along, but oftener not, with such a trusty pilot before them. Thon some fine day, years afterward, a stray breeze has blown the curtain away from the path a little, and you have Been their steps again. They didn’t fit your tracks half so well as they did at first. Then dangers began to come thick and fast. They got in among those sharp, crooked turns that you made so often around law and the common honesties of business, years and years ago. Bewilderments, mistakes, temptations, seized them. Then some of their footprints swerved over to the unlawful side a little. They 8° that way a little oftener, and each time a little farther. Wider and wider they strayed, until, at length, they CO <ru y° ur no moro. Then camo detection, disgrace, positive, outright crime; lives outlawed, suicide, the gallows. * That crooked path—you have already shown the world that you are out of it a. But you have never covered it, fed It up, so that others couldn’t trot oyer into it ] , K You will have to do that tdo, before you can eDjoy your riches. And H will take— But lo 1 his allotted threescore and teff, and thirteen years besides, have already passed. Time’s up cheeks in bonks closed. He, his riches, and that yet uncovered, crooked path— Oineinnati Time*. —Colored newsboytr have made their appeanwe jn tbe streets of Cincinnati