Rensselaer Union, Volume 2, Number 31, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 28 April 1870 — NASBY. [ARTICLE]

NASBY.

U ea mt AMD K}M ooirriutßxa attempt TO MT TOMafttOH OP TU KBORO YOTA t* Tin tnrHi Wfaed, new tork—now TUT TUT ABOUT IT—TEH DIFFICULTT Q| TO WAT AED THE BEMTLT. .-.SSTKS-SSr'i.l J April It, 1870. i Tee Noo Tork VMI, In a recent lshoo, rammrkt that the Nigger vote moat come to os, beooa the Dimocrixy hod alloa bed ■aooons in managin the ignerant and de gtadld ckasea. Thh determined ua to act about aakoorin the rote uv the nigger popolnhan In ear ward imroqjttly Father McGrath insisted that it be done towunst, baooc the minit they become Dimocrats the way wna payed for their comin under the apentoocl direckahen uv the Catholic Ohxneh j Timmy McGee inflated that it ahood be done beooa the element, es opposed to m, mite become dangerous; Timmy O'Ryan beooz we had either tn in corporate em into our ranks or kill era, and ht didn't beWeve it wood pay to raise another riot jiat now; and I wantid cm attached to oar party becoe I wantid em in front nr my bar reglerly. Wd decided that the ahortest way to git at em wood be to git one nigger interestid with tp, who wood serve ez a decoy dud: to bring in the others. We wantid a nigger to aaaoshate with ; to embrace and moh ; to ahow other niggers that we cood and wood aflilyate with em. We hed a terrible time a gittin uv it starlid, how ever. We got one u v that race in my back room, and attempted to argoo the questions ut the hour with him, confident in our ability to crash him by tacts into submishen to our doctrins, but the mliable devil milled out uv his pocket a copy uv the Oonstooahn and askt Teddy the Lifter to read and oonstroo a sentence therein, which flniaht that pertikler effort. Teddy, and Patsy O'Rourke and Micky Doolan who held him in hand, startid back at the site uv that book ez tho they hed been shot. The cum com! read, and wat cood anyuv em do with sich a man ? We caught a sick nigger and hod him in tow three days. We nussed him, and fed him, and hed in a doctor for him, wich doctor give him medicine and Dimocrisy in ekal doses, all uv wich he seeminly gulped down with ease. We got him on the skore of gratitood, and he went/away, promisin that he wood jine us, but the second day he came back and laid down on the bar twenty dollars with the remark that that sum wood pay lor all the cost and trouble we hed been toon his account. “Wat do yoo mean?” said I, sternly, sweepin the money into the drawer, however, to make sure* uv that. Bustin into a paroxysm, uv teerj, he remarkt that ez low ana mean a nigger ez he wuzhe coodent reely jine us. It wuz unfair in us, he sed, to take advantage uv his illness to put him under obiigashens to us. , “ I can’t be a Dimokrat,” he sobbed, claopin his hands piteously. “ I can’t, reely. I hev a gray-haired mother livin, and a younger sister! I can’t! I can’t! for I’m ’spectabiy connected !” And he rushed out. It was forchnit for him that I wuz alone at the time. All our efforts to sekoor a Ethiopian to our standard seemed to come to natight, and we wux just on the confines uv despair, when onemorrnn Johnny O’Shouglinessy come rushin in exclaimin, “ I’ve got it—l’ve got it!” “ Got wat ?” I askt. “ The nigger we want. In the Poleece Court there's a nigger up for drukenness, vagrancy, steelin, assault and battery, and some otber things, and ez he heznt a blasted cent, uv course he’ll be sent up in short metre. We kin git him shoor, es we go about it quickly. I got the Judge to hold on a bit till I cood see you.” ( To wunst I seed a lite. Rushing frantically down to the court room, I gave myself as bail for his appearance, wich the Judge, who is a politikle friend of mine, acceptid, without question, and seezin the nigger by the coat collar, I hustled him off to my place in triumph. Tim Dolan spoke up. “ Will yoo,” sez Tim, “ es we get yoor discharge promise to alluz vote the Dim - ” ——— - - - ~-- -■ “Hold! ” sez I quickly, Jjjr I wuz afeerd Tim’s thoughtless precipitancy mite rooin all, “ hold ! He aint in condishen to hev that question put to him. Wait a minnit: I understand wats required to make a convert better than yoo do.” And seizin a bottle from behind the bar I put it to his lips. The nigger drank with a eagernis wich gave me hope. Teddy spoke up agin—- “ Will you promise to alluz vote rp —” “Hold!” said I. “He haint enough. Drink.” And the nigger emptied the bottle. “Now,” sed I “ are yoo willin to promise to alluz vote the Dimoeratic tiekit—to labor with your colored brethren to bring em into the fold uv the Dimocrisy, and to do your level best to promote the interests uv the Dimoeratic thirty now and forever !” The nigger, by this time crazy drunk, (the likker wuz from my own private bottle and unwatered,) swore that he would promise all this. “ Gib me some mo’ dat whisky,” he shrieked. I gave him another bottle and in fifteen mi nits he wuz sleepin the deep sleep wich the tite man only knows. In about four hours he awoke, and I thought it time to approach him on the main question. “Cerzer,” I remarkt, “you must commence yoor work to nite. We shel git up a meetin uv colored men at this place for the purpose uv organizin a Colored Democratic Club, and you must address em.” “Must I unloose em to jine a Dimoeratic Club ?” he asked. •„ "Certinly.” “ Did I promise to do it ?” « “Certinly,” I replied, “and my buck you’d better keep that promise or I’ll hev yoo back in the dock at the Poleece Court in a jiffy.” “I’ll do it,” sed he with the desperate air uv one who hed determined that life ain’t worth livin for and iz prepared for anything. I’U do it, but I must hev likker enuff to drown my con which is to say, give me nerve.” .“Certinly,” I replied, “all the likker yoo want, but speek yoo must.” The aite come and there Wuz a decent show uv niggers in the back room. But the speeker! alas! he wuz too far gone to speek and I hed to dismiss cm. The next morning he swore he never wood do it, and to git him to the pint uv consentin I give him more likker, and he got drunk agin, and so on it went, alt the week. The fix we wuz in wuz suthin like this:

1. We coodent approach a nigger who hed any gland in or inflooense. 2. When we capchered sich a wun he woodent hev anything to do with ub when he wnz sober, and to hold him we had to keep him drank. 3. When drunk enuff to stay with us he wuz too drnnk to do wat we wanted. After squanderin on this poor wretch at least a half barrel of ez good likker ez ever soothed my shrinkin sole, I wuz compelled to hev him re-arrestid and sent up lor a year or two. I coodent stand no sich drain on my finances, nor could I bear to see so much likker wastid on a nigger. The cuss took his sentence joyfully. “It'shard,” he sed, “but it’ll better than yooperposed.” , This nigger question is Mm problem nv the age. Mow it will be solved puzzles May Heaven send us wisdom. Petroleum V, Nasby, (wich wuz Postmaster.)