Rensselaer Union, Volume 1, Number 40, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 July 1869 — MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS. [ARTICLE]

MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

A wooden wedding—Marrying a blockhead. The ties that connect business men with the public—Adver-tts*. Dentist—One who finds work for his own teeth by faking ont thora of other people. A sufferer adviws persons going over the Union Pacific Railroad to take their cold victuals with them. It is proposed to get up a grand Mir in Cincinnati to exhibit the manufactures of the Mississippi Valley. On his deathbed a distinguished humorist requested that no one be invited to hip funeral; “Because,” sighed the dying wag, “ it’s a civility I can never repey.” A party of Germans were Ashing near Lafayette, Ind, when one of them caught a large pike. The hook being fastened down its throat, one of them put in his thumb to get it out, when the fish bit the thumb off A New Bedford juror, who left his horse tied to s tree on going to court on a recent Tuesday morning, suddenly recollected the fact on the next Thursday afternoon, and hastily applied to the Court for nermisaion to go and look after his welfare. Sib Henry Rowlinkon, the distinguished arcbnologist, maintains that Babylon is the site of the Garden of Eden, and that the Bahylonion documents now extant give exact geographical description of the scene of “ man’s first disobedience.”

Henry Ward Brkcher invites Bonner to come ont and take an interest in his form. He says he has thirty-six acres of fend, which is too much for himself alone. “We will carry it on jointly," he tellp Bonner; “I wifi lay ont and superintend Uu work, and yon shall pay the bills.” A French duellist coming home from hip last meeting gave two Napoleons to the .coachman ‘ Many thanks; -it is a pleas?, are to drive you ont I" “ I beg yonr pardon, it is Bot for driving me ont that I give yon thora two 100k,.1t is for driving me home Once a Week reminds the worid that this is the centenary of the steam engine. A patent was granted to Watt in April, 1769. It is also the centenary of Humboldt, Cuvier, the first Brunei, Wellington, Bonlt and Ney, and the hundredth year since a patent was granted to the spinning jenny. Dr Turner, in one of the reports of the Inebriate Asylum, speaks of three children which were born to habitually inebriate parents, and were all three idiots. Afterwards these parents reformed, and lived temperately; several years, during which period of temperance two more children were born, and were active and intelligent. Finally, the parents again fell into inebriety, and had two more children, both idiots. A New Hampshire farmer, who had an invariably good-natured wife, longed to hear her scold for a change, and was advised that a load of crotchety firewood would make her very desirably cross. HWfrled it When the pile was gone he nHSI if he shonid get such another supply. “ Oh! yes,” said she, “ for that crooked wood you brought before does lie around the pot so nicely.” A clever old dame, who resides a short distance from New Ycrk city, was recently astonished by her husband, who came in hurriedly with the remark: “ I have got a present for you 1” “A present for me,” rays she ; “ what is ii?” “ A tooth-brush,” responded the old gent “ What good will that do me—you know I have not got a tooth in my head 1” retorted his spouse. “ Just the thing,” replied the venerable joker, “ there ain’t a bristib in Ul”

Thb New Orleans Jhicaytme relates this book anction scene: “Gentlemen,” cried an auctioneer at a book anction, last evening, “I offer you**—scanning the title very closely—“ Shakspeara’a works; how much to start them?'’ “Who are they by ?" inquired a wag in the crowd. “ I’fi tell yon in a moment,” was the reply, but before he could refer, a shout of laughter from th* bystanders convinced him of his blander. A German chemist has discovered that if morphia, which is sometimes used effectually to allay vomiting, be heated with hydro-chloric acid, it will become the most powerful emetic known. The effect is produced by introducing a small quantity under, the skin, and sometimes by spilling it on the skin, bnt the vomiting soon subsides, and leaves no nausea. The discoverer calls the new agent ememorphia. A correspondent of the London 7 el* graph thinks nobody knows how to cook coffee but the natives of Ceylon, and tqfis us how they do it He says: “ They take the quantity of coffee beans required, roast them in an earthen chasty or saocersha pod pot, pound them in a pestle Ind mortar, or* braise them between two stones; then pass through a sieve com posed of ooarre muslin; Boiling water is added, and the coffee in made.” A bankrupt merchant, returning home one night, said to his noble wife; “My dear, lam ruined; everything we have is in the hands of the sheriff." After a few memento of silence, the wife looked calmly into his face and said: “Will the sheriff sell yoo?" “Oh no.” -Will the sheriff sell me?” “Oh no” “Wfilhe sell our onr children?" “ Oh, no.” “ Then do not say that we have loet everything. All that is most valuable remains to osmanhood, womanhood, and childhood. We have loot bnt the remits of skill and industry. We canlnake another fortune, if our hearts and hands are left us.” Can we wonder that, encouraged by such a noble wife; he 1s sow on the road to fqrtune? * Jt A curious discovery ha* recently bran made at Pompeii. In a house in courraof

excavation an oven wu (bond, doted with an Iron door,, on openisg which a batch of elghty-one loaves, pat In neatly eighteen hundred yean ago, and now tomewhat overdone, waa discovered; and even the large iron shovel with whlah they had been neatly laid in rows. (Die loaves were bat alightly overbaked by the lava heat, having been protected by a quantity of ashes covering, the door. There la no baiter's marks oh the loaves; they are circular, about nine Inches in diameter, rather flat, and Indented (evidently with the baker’s elbow) in the oenter. and are ■lightly raised at the sides, and divided by eight lines radiating from the center into eight segments. They are now of a deep brown color, and hard, but very light. Itt the same shop wore found SAI bronze and 68 silver coins. A mill, with a great quantity of corn in excellent preservation, has also been discovered.