Rensselaer Union, Volume 1, Number 37, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 June 1869 — Bachelors and Flirts. [ARTICLE]

Bachelors and Flirts.

BY JOSH BILLINGS.

Soke old bachelor* git after a flirt, and can’t travel so last as she doz, and then conclude* awl the female group are hard to letch, and goodror nothing when they A. flirt is a rough thing to overhaul unless the right dog gets after her, and then 'flM the-easiest ov awl to ketch, and often make the very best of wives. When a flirt really falls in lore she is as powerless as a mown daizy. Her impudence then changes into modesty, her cunning'into fear, her, spurs into a tefltssyhcr pruning hook into a cradle. The beet way to ketch a flirt iz tew travel the other way from which they are going, or sit down on the ground and whistle some lively jtabe-tUI the liirt comes round. QttAMMors make the flirts, and then the flirts get more than ever, by. making the old bachelors. A'iMjditfy of flirts git married finally, tor they have a great quantity of the most dainty titbits of woman’s nature, and alma hav shrewdness to back up their sweetJwifrffilH 'dpal in poetry and water grand fAey hew rot tew hav brains, or else somebody would trade them out of their capital at the tost aweap. Disappointed luv must or course be all on om side, and this aint any more excuse than it iz tor An Old bachelor will brag about hiz freedom to you, hiz relief from anxiety, hiz tadipendence. This iz a dead beat atmastAsKfjn iz. All hiz dreams are charcoal sketches of boarding-school misers; he dream, greases htt hair, paints Us grizzly mustache, cultivates bunyoaa end corns, tew

pleeMMacaptalni,thewlmmen, and only 0U luffed at for his pains ItrteA being attokl bachelor Ulll wut pain in one year than I have had since, wtlt I was in » lively