Rensselaer Union, Volume 1, Number 31, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 April 1869 — Page 1 Miscellaneous Column 2 [MISCELLANEOUS]

„ —.— ---- this fiend, had stolen my body, and given me his. Maddened with the discovery, I rose to my feet, —Am feet,—which swayed beneath me, and I struck wildly at the vision of myself on.tho other seat. Bat I fonnd my arms light as vapor, for they passed over his body, which went through them, giving me the impression of pain. It was a body of shade that had been givon me for my own body cf flesh and blood, which this wretch had stolen. By some sorcery or other, ws had indeed changed places. “ Sorcerer-demon I" I cried out, only to hear myself speaking with his sharp, cracked voice. When I saw mytdf sitting opposite to me coolly addressing me in my own voice, I could no longer credit my senses, if indeed I had any of them at all left of my own. “ Dare say you think you are speaking loud now,” he said. I answered by calling the guard as loudly as I could halloo. “Ah, you might call a good deal louder than that, if the carriage were full of passengers, and they could no more hear you than they could see you,” he continued, chuckling, and screwing up my features into a hiaeously -knowing grin, such as I could never have made them assume. “ You see, my friend, yours is a body of air, of shadow, insensible, impalpable to all but myself just as It was to all but you when I entered the carriage. You wish, per haps, to know who I am? Well, two years ago to-night, I was a passenger by this very up-mail. There was a collision with a stupid down-goods, you see, and the result was that several passengers were injured. One ul them was—well, itfl'no use mincing matters —killed on the spot. Quite so: it was I. Yes, I am what you call a ghost, though we consider the word rather infra dig. amongst ourselves, and have a better term for it. Now I have told yon what I am, you will like to know what I want? Very good. You shall tee.’’ The ghost in my body then began to feel in my pockets, from which he drew out my meerschaum, loaded it from my pouch, and lighted it with one of my Vesuvians. “ Ah," he proceeded, whiffing the weed rapidly, “ you smoke very good stuff,— Golden Leaf and Returns; not a bad mixture, though I prefer a little Latakia with it myself. Not at all a bad body yours, either,” he went on, eying the form in which he was sitting,—” not at all a bad body; and it fits me to aT, only a little short in the arms. By the Way, I find one of your front teeth a little loose, so don’t say I did that, when you come to yourself again; and your nose is a little long for me, bat I dare say it blows none the worse for that” I shuddered as I saw him take out my handkerchief, add nse it on that cherished organ of mine. “ Yes, I dare sav now you feel the cold a little; I did at'first; but it’s nothing when you are used to it. I find your body very hot,—being heavier than lam ac oustomed to wear -, bnt it won’t be for long. I require it ‘ positively for this night only,’ as you say in your playbills, and will return it uninjured by the time we get to Ohelchester. By. the by, let me beg you to be a little careful how you throw your arms about so much as you did just now, for my body is of a more delicate construction than yours: and, being so thin in substance, I am afraid you will scag it under the armpits. You will observe, ladies and gentlemen,” he went on in lecturer’s style, “ that if I take a lighted Yesuvian and insert it in the cornea of the patient's eye, he will feel no pain.” Saying this, my dreadful companion proceeded to illustrate his remark by making a dive at my shadowy eye with a burning match. 1 felt no pain as the match burned in mv head, certainly. “ You will allow, after all you see, that my shape has its advantages,” the ghost proceeded; “ bnt it also has its disadvantHng«s. Try the pipe now.” I tried to take the pipe; it dropped through my vapory lingers. He placed it in my mouth; ! could not hold it, nor get a whiff from it “Precisely so,” said the ghost. “Now, this is just what has brought me here tonight A great smoker all my life, doing my six pipes a day regularly, I have been defunct these two years—and during all that time I haven't had a smpke I—not a blessed draw t I miss my ’hacco dreadful. There is provision made for smokers, down with us, you will understand; but we are governed by a Board of Directors, whose incapacity quite equals that of most of vour City Boards. There is a stock of bodies kept on purpose for smokers, so that, if you want a pipe, you must go into one of the bodies to enjoy it. But, if you will believe me, the supply is so notoriously insufficient to meet the demand, that there ia no chance whatever for a new ghost to get a smoke. When I entered the Society, all the bodies were out in use, and booked for three years in advance. My name has been down on the books for two years, and there is no likelihood of my getting a body allotted me under an other twelvemonth. Fancy two years without a smoke! Why, sir, the incomrstence of our Board is positively wooden. can only explain the reason why we put up with such gross mismanagement in the other world, because we have become so used to it in this. Opr constitutions, how ever, are being undermined to that extent that the Board has at last been coerced by popular feeling into passing a measure empowering ghosts to render themselves visible to single individuals at wtime in order tbat they may effect an exchange of bodies for short periods, always with the consent of the person in question, for the purpose of Indulging in a habit which the directors' cannot, however, but characterize as pernicious and injurious.’ Under this new act I obtained yonr body.” “ You never had my consent, fiend I” I cried. “ It is vulgar to call names, my friend,” the ghost replied, smoothing my mustache with my fingers; “but you are trifling. Tasked you to change places with me, and you agreed, as you must be well aware. But, aear mo, here we are,at Ohelchester; however, I mutt finish my pipe—think of two years, and not a blessed draw, my friend!” The train was pulling up. My companion leaned out of window, puffing feat and furious. “Plenty of time to change bodies," he said; "it shall be done in an Instant as soon as the train stops.” And he continued leaning out, and whiffing away great clouds of smoke, till-wo came to the platform. He hurriedly knocked out the ashes of the tobacco on the door-rail* as the guard cried: “Change here—change here; all change here, If you pleare.” A sudden glow of warmth seemed to pass over me as I rubbed my eyes, and found, to my great delight* my own smooth hands against my very own nn-