Rensselaer Union, Volume 1, Number 30, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 April 1869 — MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS. [ARTICLE]

MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

A okbat “ oompzacr "—Chloroform. Ton lap of luxury —A oat eating milk. editorial “ woe”—His youngest A PAsmiovs bridegroom in New York has sent to Paris to have his wedding cards engraved. Swing a cellar nearly finished, a waggish author remarked that It was an excellent foundation for a story. Son say that the quickest wav to destroy weeds is to marry a widow. It is, no doubt * most agreeable species of husbandry. Knnr doing, always doing. Watching, dreaming, tending, murmuring, talking, sighing, and repining, are idle and profitless employments. A girl who was making a dress put the sleeves In wrong. She was unable to change them, as sbe could not determine whether she had got the right sleeve in the wrong place or the wrong sleeve In the right place. Ax exchange, in speaking of the magical strains of a hand organ, says: “When he played ‘Old Dog Tray,’ we noticed eleven pups sitting in front of the machine on their haunches, brushing the tears from their eyes with their forepaws." Ax editor says in a recent letter to a friend : “At present I am in the country? recovering from fourteen years’ editorial life—bsd eyes, crooked back, and broken nerves, with little to show fog it.” Any one would think that the three articles enumerated were quite enough to show for it. A wealth* merchant, who had become a bankrupt, was met, sometime after his misfortune, by a friend, who asked him how he was getting on. “ Pretty well," said he. “I am upon my legs again." “How! already?" “Yes; I have been obliged to part with my carriage and hones, and mast now walk." The Richmond Examiner tells of a marriage between two leg-leas colored people in that city the other day. Both, some years ago, were compelled to have their legs amputated at the knee joinU, owing to their having been severely bitten by the frost. The man had been married twice before, and the woman three times. Bats a writer in Blaektoood: “I remember a cruel old schoolmaster of mine who always accompanied his flagellations with the assurance we’d bless him yet for this scourging, agd that the time would come when we’d thank him on our knees for these wholesome floggings; but after a long lapse of years, I nave felt no gratitude, nor ever met a schoolfellow who did. A Model Hdsbaxd.— I saw a nodal tana band in a dream, Where ttalnge are not exactly what they eeem; A moral man, to eceptlce bo It known: The wH» he loved and cherished waa—nil own; And for the tost—l taw the hatband wait With hone and chelae five mlnatea at the cate. While fxu) par on her thing*; nor epoke on* eoar Or bitter word, though waiting half an hoar For dinner; end, like Patience on a throne, Be didn’t swear to find a button gone.

A writer in Appleton'» Journal suggests what he considers the only adequate method for putting a stop to the evils of adulteration in the common articles of food. This is to teach the art of discovering and exposing adulterations in the pubac schools. Every school should have a laboratory, and every boy and girl of fifteen should be instructed in elementary, chemical testing, and the use of the common microscope. There is an old story of a Venetian painter who set up bis picture in the street with the request that anybody who perceived error or failure in the piece would “ make a note of it.” He found as the result, that every square inch of his laborious canvas was condemned; but when he altered the request, and begged that an ingenious public would oblige him by denoting what was faultless, again every square inch was lauded to the skies by some critic or another. There are only two marriageable girls at Coosa, Oregon. On Sundays, half a dozen or more young fellows sit all day on the verandahs in front of the ladies’ houses, while each fair one looks at her followers through the half-open widow. The lovers, all the while, are whittling bite of white pine. At dark they move home; but the damsels find these visits profitable, for there is generally left behind a pile of shavings big enough to light fires for the rest of the week. It is an easy matter to lead grape vines on to single trees, and in this way considerable fruit may be grown at little expense. Low headed, spreading trees are best for this purpose, like the apple or butternut. The vine should be planted in good soil several feet distant from the trunk, and a single cane led np a pole to some strong limb, whence it will soon spread over the entire head of the tree. The stem of the vine should be protected against iniury from stock. Vine covered trees would add to the picturesqueness of many landscapes, and repay the cost aside from the fruit, but we wouldn’t advise any ope to grow less vines in his garden or vineyard on account of covering a few unsightly trees with them.— Exchange. ==f= A few days since a little girl in Newark, N. J , was missing from her home, and all efforts to find her proved unavailing. It was finally suggested that she might have fallen through a crevice in the walk, down a distance of forty feet into the vault of a neighboring brewery. Lights were lowered through the aperture, and afterward a man descended. Strange to relate, he found the little one lying asleep upon a high bed of dirt and stones, .having become weary with crying for assistance. When taken out and examined by a leading physician of that city (who at the same time vouches for the correctness of this story), she was found to be perfectly well, and to have suffered no bodily harm by her perilous fall.