Rensselaer Union, Volume 1, Number 15, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 January 1869 — Bottled drops of Wit and Wisdom. [ARTICLE]

Bottled drops of Wit and Wisdom.

BY JOSH BILINGS.

wil| follfir gqod #d>-i*«»iA ft greater man than he that gives.it. It is human to etT, but devijish to , ' ... .... ;.l! iiUOtU. prag on it. • * f Blessed is he who ha*a go#di|ilc, and knows Itcrw to- Spread k.: i oft The minds ov the yppng are.easily Just Ift proportion that? a mftir Is thankful to Heaven, aiul hizneighbor, just in that proportiipfi.ia he happy,, Jt is a dreadful lin.qthjug J? ,W>P a young one just enufT, and not eniiy more, I fake it that tlfri spot is lokated jißt Where tlioir pride findft, and their mad begins. ■ .' Blessed is them who have noi eyo lop a key nor lpr a knot J( , Blessed are the single, lor'they eftn double' fit ldistrfe. ‘ 1 " If you want to Iftvrn a ehttd tt> steal oats in the bundle, makh hiW beg out ov yn J« Blessed is he who can p6cki'l abiise and feel that ft Is no to be bit by a dog. ''S o'’ 0 '’ Happiness consists in , being per* feetly satisfied with what vyq cot, aiicj what we haint got. ' r I have seiiH tfibss‘ i who‘wcris I ft* i fuU ov all sewi'6v ! bttti>ninha*‘6he hhhw ens are ov wind.; tHfey swe jua» -tbs things to cut up II we take aft tlte haM sleddiiurof tPlife, artd frtak^rT6hr f terTih muftfh, WtofPt anrfobrtt tiortk that 4f»bn pilcoirfoTauhiol^M* ( il. ’"l'think every maii aiiil earth ought tew on .tneir baud tbes* words, in large letters : "Lead us not Into tenfiptashun.” I never knew emnybody yet to git stung by hornets,! who keptjaway from where they wuz —it ift, .jiftt ,po with bad luck. Blessed is lie who has got ft good wife and knows hdAv rbf'S»f : lrer‘. Blessed is he tHat atvray* carrysa big stone in his hand but never heftyes |,er. . - . i u can judge of a mans rgligion very well by hearing him talk, hut -yu- esue t jndge of hix piety Uy~what ho sea enny more than yu can judge of lux amount ot lumen by the stick out of his collar and wrist-bands.

B®rJt is |pted that an Irishman called upon a pliysician, and infonnel him that hift’ wife was sick and required medical aid. The doctor was wiliing to give his attention‘to the case, but desired the man to pay in advance or enter into an' agreement to pay when his services were no longer needed. 1,1 / *'* ' u ‘ “An’ ye *ill kill 1 or core for twenty dollars?” asked Pat ’ ' - “Yes.” , Pat was aatisfied, and left the doctor to perform the contract. The woman died’,' and in ilijb 'time tjih doctor’s bill'was presented fear paijft ment. Pat looked at it a moment, and then asked : “An’ did TCz cure her ? ’’ “No,” answered the physician. “Did ye? fclHIWr?” " ■ This was a poser, and the mad* of medicine discovered that he had | been caught and the account was not pressed to settlement.; , ■J- ... W ; The Marion flnjf) Chronicle, says: “ElizaJjotlfGhopSon, a lady 106 years of itgfe resides in Liberty township, of tnis eonnty. Sktaras born in -Virginia, and epstipeHy remembers having seen fjefleraj Washington ard the sofdiers or tne Revolution. She has been a niCrtfber of the Methodist Episcopal Chniteb more tjban fifty years. Ifet miiid'is yet vigorous,' mul she i» a)jlo to wqlk about the, SW“A late Judge, Whose personal appearance was fcft tmprepossessm* as his legnNhiowledge Va* preftrtiwf and his lntelUitt keen, interrupted ft fenule witnesarr-“ilurabwgged you! my good Woman, what do yoft mean by that?” said h«» sternly. “Well, my lord;” tepliedtnewbftnani *lde not know how to explain exactly', man, now she would bo humbugging you/*' *-■ • *•>•s >—-■ i “I say, nia,”* exulaiined a little minis jbfthirteen, ‘‘do y ou know whut the pyroteohnical remedy is Ibr'j, crying infitM ?”; ."‘Gfadofts; Mei ness me, no; I never heaVq od suvfi a thing.” “ Well, m», its