Rensselaer Standard, Volume 1, Number 23, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 November 1879 — Mark Twain’s Hotel. [ARTICLE]

Mark Twain’s Hotel.

Having lately opened a hashery, I send you these my rules and regulations: This house will be considereJratrictly intemperent. None but the brave deserve the fare. Persons owing bills for board will be bored for bills. Boarders who do not wish to pay in advance are requested to advance and pay. Boarders are expected to wait on colored cooks for meals. Sheets will be nightly changed once in six months, or more if necessary. Double boarders can have two beds with a room in it,or two rooms with a bed in it, as they choose. Boarders are requested to pnTj off their boots if they can conveniently do so. Beds with or without bugs. An moneys and other valuables are to be

left in the care of the proprietor. This . is to be insisted on, as he will be responsible for no other losses. Insido matter will not be furnished editors under any consideration. Relatives coming on six months’ visits will be welcomed; but when they bring half their household furniture, virture will cease to be forbearance. Single men with their families will not be boarded. Beds with or without board. Dreams will be charged for by tbedozen. Nightmares will be furnished at reasonable rates. Stone walls will be furnished to snoring boarders, and the proprietor will in no wise be responsible to* the broken tin-pan -ums of other ears. ■wq 1 1 .. •.• ' Hogs may be kept from trichinosis, etc., by mixing a Mndtul of good wood ashes with thdkfood twice a week, . \