Rensselaer Standard, Volume 1, Number 23, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 November 1879 — CONDIMENTS. [ARTICLE]

CONDIMENTS.

A little Chambers burger was called upon in Sabbath school to say a text from the Scriptures. When the time came she had forgotten her verse, but from her geueral knowledge of holy writ she solemnly quoted, “Little \ children should be seen, not heard.”. A professor lecturing on “English Industries” to a class ol juveniles in- i formed them that took seven men and a boy to make a pin. “I expect,” said a little fellow, “tnat it’s the seven men that make th\t pin and that they use the boy to stick it into see if it’s sharp enough.” . “Well. Patrick,” asked the doctor, “how do you feel to-day?” “Och, doctor, dear, I enjoy very poor health intirely. The rumaties are very distressin,’ indarfe; when Igo to slape I lay awake all night, ami my toes is swelled as bigas a goose hen’s egg, so whin I stand up I fall down immediately.”

He was a new man in the big music store, she was a delicate blonde. She entered, and approaching the young man timidly asked, “Have you ‘Rocked in the Cradle of tbe deep’?” He answered with a slight blush and some hesitation, gazing for away toward the horizon, “Well—l really couldn’t say —I must have been very young at the time, if I did.” A new sentimental song is entitled, “Tell me to live in your Soul, Love.” We’ll do it. There’s nothiug mean about us. Come right along and. Uye in it. High stoop, stone front, basement dining-room. hot and cold water on every floor, and a telephone in the sitting room. Rent, S2B per month, invariably in advance; references. But why did you leave your last Soul? It is said that Limburger cheese made in this country is superior in every respect to that produced abroad. Aud we believe it. When you are in Europe and .he wind is favorable, you can smell the American Lim burger cheese factories, but the aroma from similar-establishments across tbe water never reaches this country. It weakens and abandons the trip before it gets fifty miles from home.*

An eccentric old German had a dog aud the dog bad a long tail. The old gentleman thought the dog would look more jipper if the tail was cur-tailed, so he got a fellow to hold the pup while he proceeded with the amputation. Several children of the old gent’s family gathered sorrowfully and sympathetically around to witness the operation. When the knife was about to be applied they began to sCream and cry and raised a great hub-bub. ThiH vexed the old man, and he stormed out at them: “Herej now! Ov you dond stop dot rackets I’ll cut der whole dog off!”