Rensselaer Standard, Volume 1, Number 18, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 18 October 1879 — Diamond in tho Rough. [ARTICLE]

Diamond in tho Rough.

| I have never known a rekond wife but what waz boss of the siluashun. ! After a man gits to be 38 years old he kant form any new habits much: the best he can do is to steer hiz old •nss. Enny man who can swap horses or ketch fish, and not lie about it, iz just about az pius az men ever git to be in this world. The sassyest man I ever met with iz a henpeckt husband when he iz away from Lome. An inthusiast iz an individual who beleaves about 4 times az much az he can prove, and he can prove 4 times az much az anybody beleaves. The dog that will follow anybody ain’t wuz a cuss. Thoze people who are trieing to git to heaven on their kreed will find out at last that they didn’t have a thru ticket. Too long courtships are not alwuss , ndicious; the party often tires out skjprin before the tiot begins. Nature seldoms makes a phool; she simply furnishes the raw materials and lets the fellow finish the job to suit himself. >* One quart of cheap whiskey (the cheaper the better) judiciously applied, will do mors business for the devllthan the smartest deacon he haz got. I don’t recollect doing ennything that I waz a little ashamed ov but what sombody remembered it, and wuz sure once in awhile to put me in mind ov it Young man learn to wait; if you undertake to sett a hen before she iz ready, you will lose your time and conuse the hen l>esidee. v " ,