Rensselaer Standard, Volume 1, Number 13, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 13 September 1879 — Philos o phi cal Fiend. [ARTICLE]

Philos o phi cal Fiend.

New York Bun. “I should like to sell you a gimlet," said a care-worn looking man as he walked into an office the other day. “We have no use for one," replied the cashier “But you should always look Into the misty future," went on the fiend demurely, “next winter you will want to make holes in your boot heels so you can get your skates on." • “1 use club skates—no straps required. " “You may want to screw some boards together some time. The oldfashioned method of driving the screws in with a hammer is pernicious, as it deteriorates the tenacity of the screw as it were."

“Nothing to day, sir." “This gimlet acts as a corkscrew." “I don’t want it.” “It also may be used as a tack-ham-mer, a cigar-holder and a tooth-brush." “1 don’t want it.” “It has an eraser, a pen, an inkstand. a table for computing expound interest and a lunch-box attachment" ; “I can’t help it; I don’t want it" “I know you don’t; you are one of those men that don’t buy a gimlet unless it has a restaurant and a trip through Europe and an Italian opera attacked. You’re the kind of a man who wouldn’t live near an electric light to save a gas bill." And the peddler walked out with his plumage on the perpendicular.