Rensselaer Standard, Volume 1, Number 10, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 23 August 1879 — CONDIMENTS. [ARTICLE]

CONDIMENTS.

j. , • .!" , Are book-worms good for bait? Doesn’t come a-mtas—A boy baby. A man in Venioe, 111., has christened his cat “Othello, or the Mewer of Venice.” . . •. A Nevada bedbug bit a man on the lip, aud both bug aud man died from the effects of iu Tiie doctor didn’t know which to post-mortem on. ] An Irishman, who was drinking the health of a bishop, gave this toast: "May your rivirence live to eat the old hen that crows over your grave!” The fool goeth out in a sailboat when he doesn’t knows boom from.a breaker, but the wise man picks up pebbles on the shore and flirts with the girl in a pink dress. A woman may be brave enough to refuse a tramp a piece of pie. aim yet at the Amt flash or lightning in an approaching thunder sterna go into hysterics of fear. . A Cheyenne Indian who was killed in the recent fight was called Medicine Stand. He wouldn’t have been killed if he had hired himself out as a drug store on Coney Island. “This,” said the dentist, “to my offloe.” “And that?” inquired a visitor, pointing to the apartment where stood a tooth-pulling chair. “Ah, that,” reSled the proprietor, “tiiat to my drawg room.’’

Here lies John Bhaw, Attorney-at-law And when he died The devil cried: “Give neyonr paw, ' ! - ; ' John Bhaw, Attorney-at-law.” A mother, noticing her little daughter wipe her mouth with her dress sleeve, asked her what her handkerchief was for. Bald the little one: “It is to shake at the ladies in the street. That is what papa does with his.” , A bright little raise of Napa, Cal., noted for her quaint sayings, said to her mother the other day, "Mamma, wheu you went to heaven to get me did you pick out the prettiest baby on God’s floor?” Of course mamma said y®B- - fear a brake will break, ’ O thou railroad traveler! For a brake ts made to brake— Break it won’t, thon cavller. When a brake doth brake It breaks not; When It breaks It eannot brake; Whether It doth brake or brakes not, Never, never doth it break. A, good deal of satisfaction is expressed here over the fate of Dr. Spencer, a dentist, recently shot dead for kissing a woman in Mississippi, while she was under the influence us ether. Women want to know It when they are kissed, and the fool who does not appreciate the fact ought to die. ; The game laws should be amended some more. It to all right to impose a fine for shooting game out of season, but what is wanted now is a clause inserted to enable a man to shoot came aiid catch fish in season. We have found it easy enough not to shoot game out of season. To kill it in season to what bothers us. They sent a goose over Niagara Falls the other day to see how she would take it, and when she rose to the surface of the river below she looked up as if saying: "You thluk you’re awful smart, don’t you?” A woman raised to the third power of widowhood has the photographs, of her three departed lords in a group, with a vignette of herself in the center, and underneath is the inscription, “The Lord will provide.”