Rensselaer Republican, Volume 28, Number 17, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 31 December 1896 — An Awful Risk. [ARTICLE]

An Awful Risk.

Two impecunious Scotsmen came upon a saloon. They had only “saxponeo” between them, so tliey ordered one “nip o’ whusky.” They were hesitating who should have the first drink, when an acquaintance joined them. Pretending that they, had just drank, one of them hqnded the new-dombr the whisky, Requesting him to join them in a drink. He-drank, and, after a few minutes of pain)fiiil and silent suspense, said: “Now, boys, you’ll have one with me?” “Wasna that weel managed, mon?” said one to his pal afterward. “Ay,* it was,” said the other, solemnly; “but It was a dreadfu’ sisk!" tittle Sister (studying her grammar lesson)—How can you compare the words “beautiful girl?” Big Brother (absent-mindedly)—Positive, you call; comparative, you propose; superlative, she accepts.—Baltimore News. * “Skorcher’s a perfect wreck.” "What ails him?” “The doctor says he has bicycle heart, bibyele head, bicycle face, bicycle eyes, bicycle teeth and bicycle knees.” —Chicago Record. * ' '♦ When fishing is good it is surprising bow many idle people can be found to take advantage of It *