Rensselaer Republican, Volume 27, Number 50, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 August 1896 — Firing Cannon Under Water. “They Never Touched It.” [ARTICLE]

Firing Cannon Under Water.

“They Never Touched It.”

To those worthy souls who every now and again start out to. annihilate the bicycle, we respectfully submit the following little boy’s story, which was told several years ago by the San Francisco Examiner, to illustrate some similarly impractical criiss.de: "One time there was a young gote wieh felt butty, and there was a ole. ram wieh lay in the road, half a sleep, a ehune his cud. The gote ho had been shet up in a paster ol hjs life, an bad never saw a ram, and he sed to his sister, the gote did, ‘You jest stan stili an se me wipe that ireek off the face of the erth.’ “So the gote he went up before the ram an’ stompt his feets an’ shake his head real friteful, but the ram he dident git up, but only jes kep a ehune his cud uind wotched out between bis 1 lashes. Bime by the gote he backed of and tuke a run, .am’ then arose up in the air an’ come down with his hed on the ram’s lied, wflek! The gote’s hed was busted, but the ole ram ho never wank his eye. Then the old ram he smiled with his mowth, an’ sed to the buttegote’s sister, ‘Bears to me, miss, that kangaroo of yourn is mity careless where he lites; he come gum dasted near makiii’ me swollen my cud.’ ”