Rensselaer Republican, Volume 27, Number 46, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 23 July 1896 — HOW TO MAKE LOVE. [ARTICLE]

HOW TO MAKE LOVE.

New and Very Novel, Though .Not Successful, Method. -A good story Is told of a young man who had gained access to the house of one of the richest and most aristporatie families in the city. He fell iff love with the only daughter of the house, and tried to Ingratiate himself with her in every possible manner, especlallly by bringing her the latest publications. One day the father of the young lady found one of these books lying on the table, and began glancing through IL In one of the chapters he found a number ot words underlined with a deadpencil—not beautiful passages, blit Insignificant words as “I” and “you.” He turned over leaf after leaf, and found everywhere the same thing. He connected up the underlined words, and read as follows: “Dearest Fraeulein: “'Will it insult you if I tell you that I adore you, and—” In short, a love letter of the must gushing description, and closing with the suggestive words: “Answer in the next chapter.” Then he took a lead pencil, underlined some words in the next chapter, wrapped the book in'a piece of paper, and banded It t.o the footman, wbqpi he instructed to take it; back to the young gentleman. The latter opened the volume, his heart throbbing like a sledgehammer, and found the words underlined in the next chapter. He read as follows: “You young scoundrel! If you dare to cross the threshold of my house again. I shall kick you c- . of the window.”—New York Mercury. . .fa— - Too Careful of the Baby. There are few things that cannot be carried to excess, however excellent they ma.v be; in themselves considered. Even a baby may be fussed over, and fidgeted over, and taken care of, and c“oddled, till it is in danger of growing up a weakling, if it grows up at all. On this point the New York Tribune lately had a few sensible paragraphs. “When my first child was born." said Mrs. A„ “I had the usual young mother’s craze for a daintily kept baby. The layette Was ope of those gorgeous gift affairs, tyith frocks which Victoria, I am sure, would have thought much too fine for the royal children—besides every conceivable fantasie in which, she most luxurious-minded infant could by any possibility be attir--ed. I used to gloat over the sachetscented, exquisite little belongings, and the moment I was up and about after baby’s birth I bbgan to play doll witli my small daughter, decking her out in first one thing and then another. “I had one of those fussy French nurses, immaculate as a npw pin; and. between us we scrubbed and polished up that poor baby until it-s a marvel it didn’t fade away before our eyes. After a bath in almond meal-softened water, with plenty of Lubin and sweetsmelling talcum, she did look a darling in her sheer, beribborred draperies, and I, foolish mother, never noticed her languor and .waxen skin. “I did take note that her t hair wouldn't grow; 1 that worried me, for, no matter how becomingly dressed, a child with a billiard-ball style of coiffure does not realize the fondest dreams of the maternal heart. I sewed dolls’ crimps in her bonnets, which was ail very well for outings, but inadequate for home, so finally I called in the doctor. J “He was a grumpy person, very curt and not over-civil at times. ‘Bathed too much,’ he said, briefly. ‘Look at her skin—all the life washed out of it. Too much care given that child. Let her get dirty and stay dirty. Nothing better for children than judicious neglect.’ “It was a new idea and I went to work at it. Very shortly we went to our country place, and I noticed tiia farmers’ babies who ate almost any kind of country food, sat in puddles and went bare-headed whether the rain fell or the sun scorched. They were inevitable victims of future dyspepsia, but the fact remained that, as babies, they were sturdy and rosy, and mine wasnt; and I concluded to try judicious neglect. * “I Invested In gingham pinafores and stout shoes, dumped a load of clean sand at the side door, and inaugurated a perpetual feast of mudpies. Pauline was instructed not to say ‘Don’t,’ save in extreme moments, and baby began to live the life of a young animal left to the beneficent care of sunshine and fresh air, undisturbed save at regular intervals for food and sleep. “I bought a pig that she might hang over the pen and tickle piggy’s back with a stick. It afforded her hours of pure rapture to echo the pig’s grunts with her silvery coo, and in spine mysterious fashion the associate'll" was conducive to health. I never could understand why, only it was. She would always rotiirti • blootning and serene, uud if to a nap; slept better after having spent this pleasant period feed them, got doves and ( btber pets about the place, finding that- animals gave Interest but no 1 overstlmulds to the baby nerves. In short, I never had my wax dolly again; bnf in the autumn I carried home a blooming, sturdy little maid whose splendid spirits nnd perfect health more than compensated for occasional mud stains and torn pinafores.”