Rensselaer Republican, Volume 27, Number 35, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 May 1896 — THE FAMILY STORY [ARTICLE]

THE FAMILY STORY

the : Subjugation : of : ah : sing.

A woman may be mistress of herself niiilltn i liliu f>lli T ° '””***'*" Bmlt, beyond which no conception of heroism teaches. The model woman screams at * spider, and discusses the merits of ' wlml sleeves serenely while a priceless ▼noe goes crashing to the floor. Such is the standard of feminine courage, the iMt-rate by which a woman may be pleasured. Yet when not one piece of <Aiap but two pieces, and three, ahd four, fall, the standard becomes useieea. A woman is not epected to bear r® more came. There was a fifth crash In the kitchen. Mrs. Melville «6ppe4«te-thejnidst of telling Ritchie -of the Sirtb— tbatifiiehoTy paste, was i be struck off the Commissary list; she flapped and looked appealingly at Aleb .Ole. “Austin, can’t yon do something?" Austin gathered up his napkin, put bis hand on the table, and started to push back his chajr; then he sank down ‘again amd restored his napkin to its place ttn his knee. “If Igo in there aud be gets Impertinent. I’ll break his head —which would be bad for his head and, IncSdentally, for my official neck." “But it’s head or china.” “Well, there is plenty more china — and when that gives out the quartermaster has a new invoice of tinware." “But, seriously, Austin, there won t be a thing left for the general to eat off of. What are we going to do about itr T think the epidemic is over. There baa not been a dish broken that 1 know of In live minutes. You must be reasonable, and make due allowances for him, jCstty. It’s hot out there. It’s hot here, too. It’s hotter than blazes everywhere.” “1 think, my dear, you are bordering on profanity. Of course it’s hot. Within the memory of the oldest inhabitant, it baa never been even cool in Arizona in July. You really can’t expect the inspector general to bring ice. Mr. Ritchie, don't you think he ought to do something?” “I must respectfully decline to enter Into a family difference. You and Melville must settle the question between yourselves. Only let me suggest that If It comes to the actual breaking of beads. I'd take it out on Sing, and not ou one another.” • “There: Austin,” fairly screamed Mrs. Melville, jumping up, “there goes another: and yet you sit and laugh. Oh, how horrid you can be!” , “Sit down, Matty, and talk sense. Pappose I should go out there and attempt to reason with Sing. In the natural sequence of events it would come to pass that in his present humor he would be so ugly that I should feel obliged, as I aaid. to break his head. Apart from the distant consequences of that act, you can see that the near ones would be pretty bad. .You’d have to wash the breakfast dishes, and do the housework, hud also cook and serve the general's dinner. Therefore, the inadvisability of my reducing Sing’s head to. splinters is obvious, isn’t it?”

“I suppose so; but I do wish to goodness Mrg. Lawrence’s cook hadn’t got married.” . “So does she—the cook. I mean—since O’Haßeran came home drunk two nights ago. and thrashed her . He's been In Uie guard-house ever since, and I’m oat a good man. Shows what marriage loea. Before he was married, he didn’t heat his wife. However, it wouldn’t have made the slightest difference wbethershe had committed matrimony or not; the Lawrences would never kave had the general new: even a single member of the staff to dinner. She’s ■ever dined the paymaster, you know.” “I think it's top bad a. first lieutenant’s wife has to do it, and all the rest of the entertaining for the post.” “You are also the adjutant's wife, remember.” “Yes, of course. I wonder wliat's the matter with Sing, anyway ?” “That'sobvious—approaching guests,” obaefved Ritchie, stroking and curling kis unduly military mustachios, the mnstachios that have entwined and ensnared so many hearts in their silken meshes since then, in the whirl of Washington society. Ritchie was Mel■vUle’s second lieutenant at that time, and as ite wdfe not married, aud didn’t Dke the bachelor mess, he messed with kis senior and that young officer’s wife. “Why didn’t his cousin die, then?" "Perhaps he realizes that the dead -cousins funeral is a-title worn as a i. ethod of obtaining a leave.”

“I should think so; one died when the paymaster was coming to dinner the time before last, and another when the Indian agent waa here, and he polished off two In anticipation of the paymaster's last trip.” “That's not all, Austin,” pursued Mrs. Melville “Generally be* only slams when he has lost at faro the night before." In pursuance of his method of warfare, Sing precipitated a chopping-bowl hod knife to the floor, with a resulting N*lae that only the falling of those two homely utensils could possibly accomMelville bit his upper lip and clenched his flat. L. “I wonder if It would do any good for me to go out and speak him quietly?" suggested his wife. “Suppose you try it If he takes a carving-knife to you, call out and we'll come to your rescue; but unless it’s an Actual carving-knife, don’t get us mixed ■pin any domestic brawL" iMra, Melville patted her lnce-and-rlb-toaa breakfast-cap down securely, took a long breath, arose, walked resolntely to the kitchen door, opened it, passed Oreogh. and closed It behind her.

Mfrfrllle and Ritchie listened. MelrUte leaned back In Us pine Q. M. chair, >wUh his ear bent toward the kitchen; int ° u s r s Roar the droning-of Um. Melville's voice, then a pausk She commenced •nd paused again, and yet* thted time, fcer voice rising a little higher at the

last But Sing was worshiping the god of silence.

After the third venture Mrs. Melville came reluctantly out and. resumed her seat < “Well?” “Wen, I told him.” “Yes, we heard you. But what did be do?” "He didn’t do» anything—much. He just didn’t answer.” “Did lie turn his back on you?” “Well—yes.” “In short, he didn’t pay any attention to you?” “I suppose he didn’t” » Melvilie took a biscuit, and passed the on to Ritchie. “What the dickens is one going to do about It?” he asked of the opposite wall. “If we were only nearer some town or the railroad, we might get some one else But if fye let Sing go, it may be months before we can get anybody else. I wouldn’t mind cooking for you and Mr. Ritchie so much, though it’s pretty hard work, blit I actually can’t get up a dinner for the inspector-general and his staff, and serve the dinner, too.” A pan went clashing and clattering along the kitchen floor. Mrs. Melville sighed, Melville grew fiercer, and Ritchie devoted himself to the mackerel. The shattering of a china dish broke the stillness. ’That’s six,” breathed Mrs. Melville. This time Melville bit his under lip as he put his. napkin on the table beside Ids plate and pushed away his chair. - "Oh. Austin, you’d better not go,” venture!! liis wife, mildly. He made no answer, but strode to the door and passed through. Ritchie resumed the salt scraping, and Mrs. Melville grasped both arms of her chair and held her breath. At first there was only the rolling of Melville’s deep voice, then the sound of a sudden scuffle. Mrs. Melville gave a smothered scream and started up, “Sit down,” commanded Ritchie, pushing back his own chair, but keeping his seat. Mrs, Melville sat down. There whs only a momentary scraping of boots and Chinese slippers in the kitchen, then a series of thumps down the back steps and the scratching of gravel, also a low, broken murmur from the yard. k “I guess,” remarked Ritchie, calmly, “that I’ll go and see who’s underneath.”

Mrs. Melville did not atempt to move again, but she watched the second lieutenant anxiously. He strolled to the window and stood there, one hand in his trousers pocket, the other stroking the mustachios. “Well?” ventured the young woman, finallyRitdiie turned around and came back to his ehair. “I guess Melville’s doing about what he said he would—breaking Sing's head.” Weak cries like those of a litle child came up from the back-yard. "Is that Sing?” asked the lady of the house. "It doesn’t sound anwh like Melville.” At-the end of a couple of minutes Melville went past the window and in at the side door, and a litle later he came into the dining-room by the front entrance and resumed his seat The shuffle of Sing’s slippers could be heard in the kitchen. The adjutant, despite his smoothed hair and newly brushed coat, looked so ruffled as to temper that fils wife wisely refrained from speech. Ritchie was bolder. “Has the police party got to come around and pick up the pieces?” “No;.l gtteSs tie’s whole.” “Is he,a little more reasonable?” “Oh, he’s doing the lamb act now.” “Tell us about it, Austin,” begged Mrs. Melville. “I just told, him he'd got to stop his nonsense and behave himself. Of course I didn’t want to say anything ugly to mnke*him madder. He muttered that he’d go, or something like that, and he flung the dish-towel in my face. I was a tittle riled at that, but I dou’t think I’d have done anything except kick him out, if I hadn’t remembered the dinner. I knew he had to be pounded into staying. So I pounded. That’s all.” Mrs. Melville flew into the sittingroom a few hours later. “Austin, he’s vamoosed!” Melville stood up, put down his newspaper, and knocked the ashes from his cigur. "I'll get him back,” he said. “How?” “Send a deaehment out for him and bring him back.”

So Mrs. Melville watched and waited for half an hour, and at the end of that time heard the shuffle of feet and the tramping of boots on the perch. Sing glided into the room, followed by his master. There was a guard at the door. "Here he is. Try the force of gentle persuasion, Matty.” Mrs. Melville was a coaxing little body; she could have moved any one but a Chinaman. Sing remained obdurate. "No,” he grunted; “me no come back.”' “Just to get dinner. Sing; you can go afterward.” “No.” She looked appealingly at her husband. ‘Then you won’t Come back and got dinner to-night, Sing?” asked Melville. “No.” “Guard, take this man and put him to chopping wood In the sun.” It was rather a stretch of official and military authority, but even the commanding officer, who was to dine with the general, realized the urgency Of the case.

An hour Of wood-chopping under guard, under all the untamotj, glory of an Arizona sun, brought Sing into subjection. He appeared, downcast, perspiring, gasping, and penitent, at the door of Melville’s quarters. “Missa Melville. Me wantee alee MW Melville.” "No; you can’t see her; she’s lying down.” “Yes. Me wantee alee Mis’ Meltlile. Me tellee MW Melville me come back.” “She no want you back. Sing.” I “Oh! sou go tellea.” ->

“All right. I goJtellee her.. She no come, I think.” Melville disappeared and brought back his wife. Her face was contorted Into an unrelenting frown. “Well, Sing?” she demanded, severely. “Mis’ Melville; me, come back.” “No. Ino want you come back.” •“Me eookee good dinner. Alice samee heap good. Sun heap hot, makee my .head hutft,” moaned the child of the Orient. “No breakee plates njMpMre.” “All right,” she confessed, reluctantly, “I keep you to-day, maybe.” “Really, Mrs. Melville,” said the grizzled iqspector-general, as he sat beside his brilliant little hostess at the table, and looked its length at the goodly ar ray of yet unbroken dishes. "I eau’t see what you, all make such a fuss about these Western stations for. Of epurse they’re a little far from the railroad, but you have pretty good society, you dress—well, exactly as they do in Washington, so far as my masculine eyes can tell; you five on the fat of the land, to Judge ffom what l see before ipetafi£ you certainly have excellent domestic service.” Mrs, Melville blessed the happy thought which had made her place the general so that he could not see the guard standing over the Celestial cook out in the kitchen, as the door swung to and fro. “Yes,”'she assented, “still there are some inconveniences.” * “You seem to have overcome them.” “We have I —temporarily,” she answered.—Gwendolen Overtoil, in San Francisco Argonaut.