Rensselaer Republican, Volume 28, Number 17, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 December 1895 — The Comic Side of the News. [ARTICLE]

The Comic Side of the News.

An Oswego girl has been arrested for embezzling SII,OOO. The new woman seems to be a few laps ahead of the old min. paper has an editorial on “How to Humanely Kill Kittens," - Why not kill them just as you murder the E’». glish language? The curiosity is getting thC better of his judgment. When the allied navies play the shell game he'd better of it. Mrs. Margaret Mather-Fabst probably will rettirn to the stage; let us hope that Mt. Margaret Mather-Pabst will retire from it now forever. " Camphbr has been cofnered and prices have more dhan doubled lately. Somebody is laying up treasures' where moth and rust doth corrupt. A 70-year-old Kentuckian blew out his brains because a 14-year-old girl wouldn't marry him. The young woman’s judgment was triumphantly vindicated; An Oklahoma husband has applied for a divorce and the’testorafion pfdiis- bachelor name. He shows a lovely disposition in refusing to ask for alimony. The New York Sun suggests that “toothbrush” - ought to be “teetLbrush,” perhaps. Perhaps so; but how about eyesglasses, fiugersbowi, feetball and hairscut? , . ’ The Boston Herald prints an able article on “How Prunes Are Cured!” What this country -reaHy “needs, however, is directions for curing the terrible boarding house prune habit. , A Minneapolis man,who was ajrested \he other dajj for violating the internal revenue laws, explains to the Journal of that town that he bitts merely been selling a “receipt for making insanity water out of molagses, /east and old umbrella, ribs dash of kerosene for the bouquet.” It seems a mistake to repress suet • genius.