Rensselaer Republican, Volume 27, Number 51, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 August 1895 — Up to Date. [ARTICLE]

Up to Date.

A story Is going in England of a man who took a book manuscript to a publisher with the statement thatdt was the greatest novel.of the century. “We want it,’* said the publisher. “Is it up to date?” “Up to date?” said the author, “I should rather think it is up to date; it contains two problems and k wife who confesses all on the day of her marriage.”- : : : The publisher’s eyes glistened, but as he turned over the pages of the typoscript his face lengthened. “Great heavens!” he said, “it’s written in English; there’s not a Scotch phrase in it! And you said it was up to date.” “What do you mean?” asked the author. “What do I mean?” cried the publisher. “My dear sir, are you really serious in expecting me to publish a novel that’s not written in a Scotch dialect? Take it away—take it away." Well, the author took it away, and was somewhat disheartened, until he suddenly recollected that he had an aunt who had lived in Scotia nd, and had mastered the language so that she could go through Edinburgh without the aid of an interpreter, and could almost understand a Glasgow man when he spoke slowly. He hurried to her side, and with her assistance turned all the “froms” into “fraes,” all the “longs” into “langs," all the “away-s” into “awas,” the “friends” into “freens,” and the “flies” into “flees.” With the aid of a few “hoot mous,” “bonnies,” and a judicious flavor of the brose pot, the book was transformed, the publisher accepted It with enthusiasm, and its appearance is now expected every day.