Rensselaer Republican, Volume 27, Number 50, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 August 1895 — The Comic Side of The News [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

The Comic Side of The News

Before this thing goes any further we advise Grover to insert a “Boy Wanted” advertisement in “want” columns. Atlanta's exposition has a board of lady managers, but no Colonel Phoebe Couzins. The outlook is pretty gloomy; but perhaps the Mexican bull fight may save the show. ft has just 'been discovered that the Philadelphia City Council has expended SIO,OOO for '‘dictionaries." Thetaxpayers are now saying a few wonTs which ennnot be found in them. An Indiannpolis girl has sued a banker for $50,000 for broach of promise to marry. Tho “new woman” is every bit as eager to move the previous question as the old girl used to be. The city physician of Fergus Falls, S. D., recently analyzed the city drinking water and found it contained “monobranchiate zoophytes.” And the waterworks immediately raised its rates. A Pittsburg boy aged 04 eloped with a girl aged 50 and they were married in Cumberland, W. Va. But what are young folks to do when they are in love nnd can’t get their parents’ consent? A Buffalo paper remarks editorially that “two former Rochester reporters now have their feet under a desk ih our office." Perhaps they left them there while they went out to see the low n and forgot to call for them again. A new variety of watermelon containing a pint of whisky has been discovered in a prohibition town in Indiana. Some day a genius will hit upon the idea of loading a melon with Jamaica ginger and nothing can atop his march to immortality. Prof. Gallaudet, the Washington deaf mute teacher, celebrated his golden wedding the other day. Many of his pupils called and before leaving gave the Professor and his wife a substantial present. Prof. Gallaudet responded in a few happy, well-chosen motions.