Rensselaer Republican, Volume 27, Number 31, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 28 March 1895 — OUR PLEASURE CLUB. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

OUR PLEASURE CLUB.

—' —* r : '^ When tbe springtime oomea. gentle Annie, And tbe wild flowers blossom o'er the plain. The prices then on coal willTje less. Annie— It'a the ice bill Will drive us near insane. One awectlr, pleasant thought Comes to us o'er and g'eij; - It won t be long tili \Ve can say, Please do not (.lose the door. "Love is tapping at my door,” Wrote the poet, well content. Said the wife; “You're wrong once more; That s the landlord 'V>r the rsntl" - LIKELY.

—Temperance Enthusiast —Look at the beautiful'lives our first parents led! Do you suppose they ever gave wav to strong drink? The Reprobate—l ’xpect Eve must a’ done. She saw snakes! ‘‘Looking for work, are ybu?” isked the good lady. “Oh, not that bad. mum,” answered Mr. Everett Wrest. “Jist nerelv waitin’ fer it.” Uncle John —You boys fight a 2rreat deal, don’t you? TbeTwins-—Yes.sir. “Who whips generally?” “Ma docs.” “Just think of whisky freezing, major!” , ■ ‘ ‘Malces no Yliflerence to me, sir; Cm a great lover of cracked ice. ”

Miss Madison 'Square —Can you ixplain how it is that where one lundred men abscond not more than tne woman can be found who is in .he least dishonest. Miss Fremont Certainly. The vomen have uo extravagant wives. “Do they sell liquor in Now fork on Sunday?” asked a stranger n that city. “Do they sell it?” the haughty loliceman repeated; “you didn’t ,b'mk they wor so senseless as to ;ive it away, did you?” And he mrsued his travels in a contemptru>us silence. TOO DARK.

He —Your father seems to think I :an't support you, dearest. She —That’s not his fault. Every lime he has passed the parlor the (as has been too low for him to see iny thing. * ‘I have twice.been hit on bunko, I have purchased silyer bricks, t fve been skinned through signin' papers. An’ by all the other tricks. ‘I am patiert, but I'm thinkln’ Thet I'm due for trouble soon, When these weather sharpers fool me With a bogus pieoe o’ June." —Dawson, Ga., News. *‘l do not care for office,y They heard a fair one say; "The Legislature might keep In Upon a bargain day." Boon will the busy, busy hen Employ each shining hour In digging up the' planted seeds Of melon, vine, and llowor. “Growler’s neighbors all have a iind word to sav of him, now." “Great Scott’, what has he done?" “Diefl yesterday.” “Now, here is a furnace that we Cruarantee to be simple enough for the average servant to run." “Uin! What you need is one that will run in spite of the average servant." Tramp—Thanks for the clothes, mum. but never mind the tie. Kind Lady—But you said you wanted to look like a gentleman? Tramp—That’s jest it, lady; but this ’ere tie would queer the hul biz. Ver see, they tie their own ties in the saciety I moves in, mum. "Old Jones is enjoyin’life at last." “What’s up with him?” “Swapped a bale o’ cotton fer a pair o’ skates!" “Remember, ladles,” said the Man ivunk philosopher, “aman is like an egg. If you keep him in hot water be is bound to become hardened.” Agricultural Agent (gathering statistics) —Why is it, farmer, that you ire sending less milk to town this fear than last? Farmer Waters—My pump’s froze.