Rensselaer Republican, Volume 27, Number 26, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 21 February 1895 — OUR PLEASURE CLUB. [ARTICLE]

OUR PLEASURE CLUB.

“I see,” said Mrs. Wick wire, “that two million boxes of orange« were frozen on the trees in Florida. I don’t understand it.” , “Don’t understand —it?" echoed plain enough.” '•‘‘Yes, but do they grow in boxes on trees?” Tommy—Paw, what is an “intellectual soiree?” j Mr. Figg—lt is generally ons where the refreshments do not cost much more than a dime a head. “What was that I heard you iug last-night?” f asked the wardrobe. ; —, ~ - ---‘-g■ ', ■ “Her Golden Hair Was Hanging Down My Back,” replied the chair, and the lire went out for air. Duffy—That’s a pretty bright dog of yours, Jawkins. Jawkins —Why, yes; I believe that if he only knew how to talk, he’d ba smart enough to keep his mouth shut. Maude -Marriage, they say, is a lottery. Ethel—That’s what Carrie thought Tguess when she come td look over her wedding presents. Positively, the entire collection wasn’t worth than sass! Gory Gulch Citizen —Is it true that back East there’s laws ag’in' carroin’ cohceaTed weapons? Tourist —Yes, indeed! Gory Gulch Citizen —Wall, thet’s a outrage. The idee of being’obliged to tote around a big, heavy gun more’n a yard Ibng, every time yeb zo out to kill a man.

Employer (on his way to business) —Thunderation, Pofford, what are voii doing her<j, with that cot-bed, ind your arms full of canned food? Clerk —You told me to collect that bill from Sloughpay, and to stay with him till he paid it. Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lo'rd my soul to keep, - And If the bed shuts up on mo I pray the Lord to set me free. “This is my first experience as a steeple chaser.” murmured the Kan--sas farmer as he whirled through the air just behind the fragments of the village church. Farmer Green—He’s a flue colt; he ain’t never been broke. Horsey Hardup Never been, broke! By Jove! he’s deuced lucky. Woman Suffrage Lecturer—They say that women if allowed the ballot would still take no interest in elections; but I defy anybody to tell me why! A Masculine Voice —I’ll bet you $lO I can tell you whys Woman Suffrage Lecturer (indignantly) —Sir, I never bet. The Masculine Voice —Well, that’a why. Husband—You can’t cook like mother could. Wise —No, nor I can’t whip like your mother could, either. . Flypps —The landlord of the Hy Pryce 'House is making stacks of money, as sure as anything. Flopps —Have you any,, reason for thinking so? Flypps—Particular reason? Great Scott! Isn’t he boarding at his own hotel?