Rensselaer Republican, Volume 27, Number 25, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 14 February 1895 — TALE OF TWO VALENTINES [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

TALE OF TWO VALENTINES

BY HENRY CLEVELAND WOOD.

rsi UTj - Tus C -' Es A * R r .Jggtall gLTodd was a clerk in Ssl’a retail dry go-gls 13 difficult to • imagine that an indi-

vidual bearing so historic a baptismal name should be decreed by fate to wear it in the commonplace atmos"phere of a ntercan til e life, bu tthus it was. To behold Mr. Podd on a Sunday afternoon, or some eveninn, after the multitudinous affairs of business had ceased until the morrow, one would almost have been led to b.elieve that the baptismal name was scarcely adequate to the man, for when Mr. Podd had cast, aside the enthralling shackles of dependent circumstahees and stood fortl> in the full freedom of a small salaried clerk _ off du t.v, lie might real ly have been mistaken for a railroad magnate, or a bank official with an evident Inclination toward; some ebun try. where extradition law is not. Al such periods it required an exceed in gly-i magina ti Ve bra in to & rasp the though Uthat the individual who who whirled past in the newest, and most stylish of rigs—to the utter annihi lai io nos his w e e k’s s■ al ary -“-or who occupied one of a reserved pair of orchestral chairs, front, was but tliersame:person who smilingly tore, down one sideof a dry goods establishment to enable some undecided female to Select a spool of thread, or who rewound yards upon yards of Ham burgs and other decorative goods which similar consistent creatures had examined with a thor - oughness known only to the feminine mind. Mr. Podd .cherished Insertions, which, if rightly matured, as they certainly would be in the course of human events, would give to his existence that couleur de rose which the poets affirm constitutes earthly felicity. Divested of these intentions, Mr. Podd would have been a very tame sort of individual. As it was, they urged him to an energetic tion of a ti in id and retiringmustache, to a lavish expenditure for pomades, gloves, cravats and'numerous other auxiliaries of the toilet; also to a general attempt at rendering himself as irresistiole as possible. Mr. Podd's intentions were of a mat ri mon ial nature.. ==^= f ™=,==— He loved. In this ease the sentiment was a species of mild insanity that often attacks young men of a marriageable

age and an umnarrisgeable salary, i and Mr. Pedd exhibited many of the i symptoms .in an aggravated form. lie took in two or three extra squares each day in walking to and from his place of business that he might pass the abode which'sheltered the idol of his soul, and, perchance, be rewarded by a small bow of recognition from the fair occupant. On one occasion Mr. Podd refrained from purchasing tickets to a popular perforinancc iu order to lay up something for the future, when be should come to unburden himself of the great devotion which weighed down liis soul and lightened his pocket. Bitterly did he denounce his frugality when the object of his adoration, and enforced economy, heartlessly accepted the escort of a certain Tom Jones, for whom Mr. Podd cherished a great aversion, but this was merely one of the customary ripples which ofttinies disturb the current of love’s young dream The fair being who thus agitated the placidity of Mr. Podd's existence. was a Miss Melinda Smythe—her father spelled it Smith in bygone days. *. This maiden dwelt with her m oher, whose small income was obtained by ' working early and late at dressmaking. M iss Melinda led-a lily-of-the-fieid-existence, and while her mother drudged, and cooked, and sewed-Jn the lit tie back room, her daughter received in the front apartment, or went out to the concerts and theaters, from which she-brought back lyrical souvenirs to be distributed, will) the aid of a cheap, rented piano,' to the neighborhood at frequent intervals. From the deportment of Miss Melinda in public, one was led to regret that a life of fashionable dissipation had brought ennui to so young a creature, and when she referred to “our residence” it was in a tone that at once suggested a brown stone front, plate glass and an extensive retinue. In Mr. Podd’s eyes, her bearing was simply regal, and he rejoigqd in the-distinguished atmosphere of her presence, unmindful of any doubts of its Miss Melinda had gained her knowledge of aristocratic deportment from theatrical boards and the pages of that romantic school of literature she delighted in devouring in prodigious quantities, but as Mr. Podd’s ideas had been generated by the same equivocal Source, he detected none of the flaws patent to a more acute or hss interested pbrson. Mr. Podd's lodgings comprised the most economical part of his existence. being in an . obscure street, in a building that wore the look of ab-ject-gen 1 cel poverty. Considering the dispiriting surroundings, it is little marvel that Mr. Podd frequent! v sought the companionship of Mbs Melinda Smythe, or entertained in secret visions of a vine-embowered

cottage, with th is.diy in tty as .its_pre-. sidinggleity, for if there' be any excuse for.a rash plunge into the tuj multuous sea of matrimony, it is that I the unfortunate victim -leaps fronp '.the positive infelicity of the tvpical obsFu’ e' A o~rding house intothe blissful unkm wi), “Mr. Podd's sojourn aYthese lodgings, however, was a matter of pol,icy, both on account of the cheapness of bed and board, and also on the score that, owing- to the undisguised partiality of the landlady’s daughter for this particular boarder the mother was more lenient in coi~Tecl.ihg~his and more indul- ■’ geh t in. many us the minor work ings* of the establishment,including choice morsels at table and a thoughtful supervision of his wardrobe and room. I Owing to these several advanI tages be lingered on, yet refused to I a!iow his perverted imart to be soft• ! ened by the blandishments of the _i daughter more than was essential ' Io his own comfort and convenience ; as a privileged boarder. i When he wished an extension of TcredityurryTto secure ecial ' favor, 51 r. Podd was wont to escort his landlady’s daughter, in whose fashioning nature had neglected to include any comeliness, to some place i of worship or to an entertainment i where the priceof admission was most ■ moderate, suffering untold anxiety 1 the-while lest, the odious Tom Jones | should be basking in the sunlight of I Miss Melinda’s presence during this voluntary eN-ije on hjs part.. i Mr. Podd's finances were slowly 1 from the severe drain to w hich they . had - been sub: ; jeeted during the Christmas season. February he was walking : leisurely from business toward his lodging, calculating a method by whirl: lie might be able to pay some bills long since due, yet .. surplus to treat j ! tire fair Melinda to a"sleigh ride, j recklessly promised at a time when I the weather gave strong and almost certain indications, of verging into balmy spring, while, with a per-ver.-ily known in no other thing save Women, it now gave as positive evidence of a speedy fall of snow. I As he passed down the street his attention was drawn to a crowd gathered before a stationer’s window and prominent among them was the ever obnoxious Tom Jones, who, with the others, was absorbed in the contemplation of a display of valentines. At once the green eyed monster ' i suggested the idea that this exa-s- 1 j pera'ing rival was-even then engaged 1 ! in selecting one of those dainty mis- | sives bv means of which he might convey to the object of their common admiration an accurate state of; his feelings, and Mr. Podd at once | decided :on ..ado pting sihii 1 ar.meas- { j ures in an avowal of a passion that 1 ■ alike-consumed his soul and salary. I Nbw,”"iVwould seem” that fronr~a •* I well stocked assortment of valentines 1 one might readily make a selection, but Mr. Podd found it a difficult task. Many of these dainty messengers ' appeared too cold-and indifferent! to suit the critical taste of this eus ■

tonjet; others were of too absence a nature to portray the proper intensity of emotion that stirred the profound depths of Mr. Podd’s soul. Finally he chose one, in which ar-row-pierced hearts and very fat cupids —who were evidently in the i same plight as Flora McFlimsey—together with congenial doves, clasped hands, mottoes of truth, fidelity, constancy and devotion, with other symbols representing a harmonious state of affairs generally, were scattered prodigally over gilded paner in filigree design. Added to this was an amatory sonnet, wherein dove, love, bliss, kiss, ete., were worked up in several lines of choicest machine poetry, while the finale was a suggestive sketch of a devoted couple before an altar, and I officiating clergyman, with another; fat cupid in the background, wearing a highly contented expression and—nothing else. As Mr. Pedd turned to go his eyes fell, on a pile of comic ’ valentines which lay near. Some one has said that the destiny of a nation turns frequently upon a small pivot. That of an individual is often as delicately poised. This careless glance proved the turning point which overthrew fortune, and enthroned her unwelcome kinswoman in the near future of Mr. Podd’s existence. The topmost valent he portrayed a spinist r y-looking female seated at an antiquated piano, which she was belaboring in a blood-curdling way in accompaniment to some operatic gem. supposed to be issuing from her very extensive mouth. An unhappv feline with an arcl e 1 back, distended eyes and enlarged caudal appendage lifted up her agonized wail from an adjacent fence. Below this sketch was a verse, in which comparison between the two singers was much in favor of the cat. An evil thought, perhaps born of a recent request for arrears of board, entered the mind of Mr. Podd to bestow this souvenir of St. Valentine bn the landlady’s daughter, who also thrummed the piano, and acting.on' the sudden impulse he bought the missive. When at his lodgings he directed both valentines, feeling secure on the one hand that his landlady’s daughter was not familiar with his penmanship, and writing on the sentimental one the initials J. C. P., that Miss Melinda might not mistake the sender. On St. Valentine’s Day Mr. Podd arose somewhat later than usual, and went down to breakfast, forgetting the two missives lying upon the table in his room.

While he was eating, the maid-of-.aTF-woVk started on her cleaning tour,' ~a»d~w 1 th-Mfe proverbial acutenesi that enables members of her ilk tc • detect any thingsave dirt or disorder! J the two forgotten valentines, in their whiteTvrappers, w ere the liest thing, to attract her attention. s they 11ad riot becn sQalcd, i< - was but a few seconds until she was -mirtlffuUy regarding the rival must cians of the one, and feasting hei eyes upon the prodigal collection 0) love tokens contained in the other -. -Shehad,scarcely time, on hearing approaching foots.tep.s, to return the valentines to the wrappers, uncon- • sciously changing them in her haste, i and take up her broom with ! cent an expression as the-eceasion ■demanded, when Mr. Podd hurriedly entered, picked jup the envelopes, sealed them, and thrust them inti his pocket, totally ignorant of the exchange which had been made. That evening after business Mr. -Poddsought the-tonsorialartist, under whose especial care he placed himself for the next half hour, then he wended, his happy way to -the. abode of his soul’s ideal. Imagine the consternation of the hapless Podd," who, on presentJmg himseLfto the fair Miss Melinda, secure in the expectation of a cordial greeting—nay, perhaps a tender one—found-himself met wi th chilling, scorn, while that young lady drain atiea Uy waved him hence. “Begone! you villain,” she wrathfully exclaimed in true stage parlance and with another tragic wave of her hand. “Why, Miss Melinda,” began the astonished Mr. Podd. “Don t ‘Miss Melinda’ me you base hypocrite,, you,” screamed the young lady, allowing her temper tc overcome her ' predilection for he- ' . . ' “Great Jupiter! My dear Miss ; Melinda.” stammered the unhappy Mr. I‘oikl. • ' “Go!” cried Miss Melinda in still' shriller tones. “Must I have you ejected ftom this apartment? Mar!” she added, opening tlie door leading into the back room, “here is this contemptible puppy, Podd.” 1 ‘‘Has he come back here agin?”ancl the irate mother appeared upon the scene. “Maybe he come to see il ..your cat still out squalled you,” she said in harsh and sarcastic tones, as she confronted the bewildered victim of their joint accusations. . “Oi\to have my voice remind him of a file on a cross-cut saw,” rejoined the daughter with a little hysterical ■sob. “O, Mar! drive him away. I ean't bear the sight of him.” “My child, don’t let such a miserable creature disturb you,” said the mother, soothingly; then pointing to the outer door, she said: “Jet right out o’ here, and don'i put your foot nigh this house agin. If I was a man I’d learh you v how tv insult unprotected ladies,’’’ she ad- • d ed, -asr-ar partin g ifrjanctiem v-w hen 51 r, Podd, with his hand pressed to his head in a dazed sort of way, turned and fled into the darkness. An hour or two afterward, as hq stole dejeeteely into his lodgings, h < met, at the door, his landlady's daughter, who held his sen timental valentine in her hand, and beamed upon him a happy smile. “Oh, Mr. Podd!” she tenderly ex < ela+med, “how can l-ever thank vo j for this too awfully lovely valentine.' I’ve been watchin’ for you ever sine | supper. Do come into the parlor, where there is a nice, warm fire au‘ things look cosv.” Poor Mr. Podd. He muttered something about being consumed by a raging headache and, declining all proffered remedies he went hastily to his room, where, locking himsel! securely within;=he gave himself up fully to the anguish of the hour. It is a cause for little wonder, therefore, that any allusion to St. Valentine’s Day now causes a deej; depression to settle on his once susceptible heart and a chill to pervade his sensitive being.