Rensselaer Republican, Volume 27, Number 24, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 February 1895 — OUR PLEASURE CLUB. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

OUR PLEASURE CLUB.

Father—You must know, sir, that my daughter will get nothing from me until my death. Suitor (pleasantly)—Oh, that’s all right, sir, .that’s.all right; I have enough to live on for two or three years.

Caller —Wonder if I can see your mother, little boy? Is she engaged? Little Boy—Engaged? Whatcher givin’ us? Sh&’s married.

Johnson—Mr. Howells gets twenty five cents a word for all he writes. No author ever received such a price. Bronson —No, except Patti when she wrote that soap advertisement.

He was so very thin That when he was under the weather ' He could not tell which side was well They were no near together. ’ —W. N. Cassel.

Use. “Well, Tommy, have you learned anything at school?” “Yes, sir; I've learned to wear a lung protector, in the seat of my pants.”

IN CHICAGO. She —I do hope, Edwin, you will not have to wajk the door with the

twins to-night. You are so goodnatured about it, too —you nevert lose your temper. He—My dear, we must be prepared to make these ’little sacrifices if we expect to catch up with the Greater New York. A jiuSEUM EPISODE. Manager—What’s the row in the dining-room? Waiter —The Two-Headed Wonder has got tangled up eating macaroni.

Manager at Dime Museum —Was the contortionist put on the stand in our damage suit trial? Assistant —Yes, and the opposing attorney tied him up in a hard knot. Gent —Where were you employed last? Servant —At a writing master’s. Gent —What were you required to do? Man Servant —I had to keep shaking the tablewhen a new pupil wrote the words, “This is . my handwriting,” before commencing to take lessons.

Ch, mother, phase, mother, come home with - .nff-noy : The alteriieori’g slipping by fast; You taid you were coming right home from the pells As soon as your ballot was cast, Poor father came in for bis dinner at noon, And not a mouthful could he And, And the words that he said as he slammed ths front door Left a strong smell of sulphur behind.

BEFORE THE BALL. (Life is surely a dream.)

THE HOME STRETCH. —JOHN H. CASSEL. —Inoer Ocean.

AFTER THE BALL. (With my chrysanthemum hair,)

MAKING LIGHT OF RELIGION.—JOIIN H. CASSEL.—Inter Ocean.