Rensselaer Republican, Volume 27, Number 22, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 January 1895 — Negro Maxlims. [ARTICLE]

Negro Maxlims.

Wakkin’ on ’nother man’s farm at night is er short cut tef jail. Waitin’ fer good times is like tryin’ ter scratch matches in de well-buekit. Red licker mighty quiet in de jug, but mighty noisy in de nigger. Dese trus’s dat’s gwine roun’ de country don’ trus’ de po man much. Some womin like umbrellers; yo’ can’ keep ’em at home no how. Mighty hard ter manage seegyar an’ gribbin’ hoe at de same time. No use ter ax how de man is w’en you see his galluses wrapped ‘roun’ de muel’s hin’laigs. Preachers’ coat-tails gwine be mighty pop’ler on de jedgmint dav. Some folks seem ter think de Lord don’ want nothin’ bigger’n copper cents. Forks in de road don’ bother de wil’ goose. Mighty lucky turky dat ain’ got much appetite fo’ thanksgivin’. When you gits er chace ter vote fer bonis’ man, take it. De deafes’ nigger kin always hyear de dinner horn. >' Crabgrass an’ barcer wurrums don’ wait fer nobody. Pullin’ suckers in de barcer lot pays better’n ketchin’ suckers in de creek. De bull ca’f wonder w’at de milkpail’s fer. Silver creampot don’ sweeten sour milk.— Wiliam G. Eggleston. _ One-third of the fools of the country think they can beat the lawyer in expounding law, one-half think they can beat the doctor healing the sick, twothirds of them think they can beat the minister preaching the Gospel, and all of them know they can beat the editor in running a newspaper.— Poughkeepsie News-Press.