Rensselaer Republican, Volume 27, Number 16, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 13 December 1894 — OUR PLEASURE CLUB. [ARTICLE]

OUR PLEASURE CLUB.

“I wonder you women never lean bo w. to-get-offa strqet-eafr. ” “Ump! If we got off the righ way it wouldn’t be long before theyk quit stopping the cars for us,” Husband—Another milliner bill* Why, I paid one only day before yesterday! ■ Wife Day before- yesterday’ Goodness, how time flies’. * “Have you ever loved another Tom?” said Miss Gush to her intend cci. ' “Certainly,” replied he. ——“D>( you. wish written testimonials Iron _ my previous sweethearts?” First Convict—De Giv'rnor aink keepin’ de promise he made befort the election. —•. Second Convict —Which promises’ First Convic—Why to turn tht rascals out. A man will unblushingly-comb hii hair over a bald spot on the top ol his head, and yet expect a fruiteres to put his smallest in the top laye; of a box. “So your youngest daughter it married?” “Yes.” “Was it, a love match?” “Oh, dear, yes. She was perfect!j infatuated with the ring he gav< her.”

Teacher What important even’ has recently occurred in Russia? Miss Sixteen —The Princess Alb has had dozens of beautiful new gowns made. A teacher of a Virginia district school recently asked one of her colored pupils to go to the. blackboard and write a sentence thereon containing the word ‘‘delight. Georgg Washington Jackson went promptly to the front of the room and wrote in a large scrawling hand these words: “De wind blowed so hard jat it put out de light.”—Harper’s Young People. Woman Lawyer—What is your age? , Woman Witness —I was born in the same year as yourself. Woman Lawyer—Witness excused. Mrs. McCauber —Here’s a notice saying that if the bill is not paid the gas will be shut off. Mr. McCauber—Let ’em shut it jff. ~ Who cares? “But what will we do?” “Put in electric lights.” “But in time the bills for them will come in.” “Oh. well, perhaps something Blse will be invented by that time," Yndno'sr the wintry winds do moan :n 1 roar. The sky at eve grows dim and murky; From o’er the fields we hear the plaintive cry Of some forlorn Thanksgiving turkey. .. “Mildred, did you work any Halloween charms to ascertain who four future husband will be?” “No, Blanche, I didn’t.” “Why, you never told me you were engaged. Who is the lucky man?” “Lyersby was telling me that he had a dream that an angel appeared and told him that he would go to heaven when he died. Now, what do you think of that?” “Oh, that’s just like him—he couldn’t even dream the truth.” George—l wonder why it is so easy to get engaged to a girl in the summer. Jack —I just tell you what, George, after a girl sees herself in a summer boarMjrg nouse looking glass she’ll accept most anybody.