Rensselaer Republican, Volume 27, Number 12, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 November 1894 — OCR PLEASURE CLUB. [ARTICLE]

OCR PLEASURE CLUB.

“Who pulled that bell-cerd?” asked the street-car conductor. “1 did," answered a passenger. “What did you ring both ends lor?” “Because I wanted both ends to stop.” “Mr wife is 4 wondprful woman,” said Jarley. “Give her time and a shoe button, and, bv Jove, she’ll make a bonnet out of it.” Little Girl Mrs. Brown, ma wants to know if she could borrow a dozen eggs. She wants to put ’em under a hen. Neighbor—So you’ve got a hen. setting, have you? I didn’t know you-kept hens. Little Girl —No, ma’am, we don’t; but Mrs. Smith’s going to lend us a hen that’s going to set. ' v. - “He is a beautiful little dog,” said the caller, doing her best to offer sympathy. ‘.‘lt mu9t be a real bereavement to have to lose him. Cant —can’t you take his remains to the taxidermist's?” “I thick,” said Mdr Gofrequent, with a fresh burst of tears, ‘we had already paid the tares on him." He—Have .you, decided wbaf to give your old aunt for a birthday present? She —No; but now I come to think of it, the poor old maid has had very little pleasure ail her life; you might just write her an anonymous love letter. Tommy— Miss Antique, do you purr when you are awake? Miss Antique—Good gracious, what do you mean? Tommy—Well, mamma told papa you. were a perfect old cat, that’s all. : kt « Florence —Helen says Mr. Smallcash loves the very-ground she walks on. Harry—Jupiter? I guess so, it would bring a hundred thousand any day. . , ' “Heavens. Edith! How. can you think that Mr. Littlethink is interesting?" Edith—Why, dear, he wears such beautiful chrysanthemums, and never has anything to say. “Who was the handsome fellow wq just passed?” Maud -The man I am engaged to. “How provoking! I hoped you were acquainted with him.” Teacher —Now, Flossie, you want to spend your 10 cents in a way that will do the most good, don’t you? Flossie —Yes’m; but mamma won’t let me. Teacher —Why? Flossie—She says chewin’ gum is bad for the teeth. “How is your son doing in college this year?” Mother —He don’t seem to havw the least ambition. . Just like hig fathpr. : “Don’t stand well in bis classes, eh?" “Mercy. ve3, right at the head, but he can’t kick a football more than twenty feet.”